Collide
by Girlscout22-Chase-Swarek-22
Summary: What if history repeated itself for Rayna and Deacon and they had another child together ? And what's it like for Maddie to look on the sidelines as her mother continues to bet on the safe choice instead of betting on her happiness and Deacon's ability to change. Will they finally get together? First Nashville story!
1. Chapter 1

**COLLIDE**

**What if history repeated itself for Rayna and Deacon? And what's it like for Maddie to look on the sidelines as her mother continues to bet on the safe choice instead of betting on her happiness and Deacon's ability to change. Will they finally get together? **

**We both have a past, nothing to lose, tonight**

**Well it cuts like a knife these bad luck blues**

**We both got scars from the hell we been thru**

**Somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose**

**KID ROCK**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So yeah, my first time in the Nashville fanfiction wagon as I once again fell in love with Deacon and Rayna… but theirs is so much going on… and so little time to see them really being parents together, so this is me trying to put my frustrations to rest. Meet Robert James "Robbie" Claybourne the second unplanned but much loved miracle child for Rayna and Deacon. Born in the middle of season 2. (Conceived during eps 1x19 and 1x20) Flashbacks are in italics **

**Enjoy! I own nothing but Robbie! **

**Chapter 1:**

**2012**

_He'd remembered how it had happened this time. He'd remembered what had happened after he'd found out about Maddie too. And yet neither of them would have imagined history would repeat itself._

_"We'd have to do a pregnancy test, just to make sure" he'd heard the nurse tell Tandy as his eyes drifted away from Rayna's face for a split second. _

_Moments later, he'd gotten the news. The love of his life was carrying his child. God, he glanced over at Maddie and swallowed hard. He didn't even deserve to the there. In that room, holding her hand as he'd been the one to cause all of them that sorrow. He could feel Tandy's eyes drill into the back of his head as he refused to give in to desperation and give her the satisfaction to tell him he'd had once again done it._

_He remembered the moment he'd been released from prison and how he had wanted to back there and never leave. How could he? He was yet to face Maddie, they had exchanged words and a few glances when he'd been inside that hideous hospital room, but she was too young to deal with all of this and he was too messed up to even consider himself as someone's father._

* * *

><p><em>He was a father. And if that child had survived that car crash, Lord have mercy, he'd become a father again. No Teddy this time though.<em>

_"Maddie?" He'd been trying to get some decent sleep after his stay over the hell hole. He looked like a convict, which was no lie. But the 13 year old girl in front of him only saw him like a coward, a man who'd hurt her mother. "What... what are you doing here?" _

_"I.. I'm not sure… I just wanted to see if you were okay." She no longer wore glasses. And for the first time he noticed slight similarities between him and that little girl. His little girl. His and Rayna's. _

_"Does Rayna know you are here?" Maddie waved her head. She seemed anxious. She made the same face he did. It was like staring at a mirror. _

_It had been the first time he'd been face to face with his child. The child he had once thought was Teddy's and it made him so angry that Rayna had gotten over him so fast and gotten pregnant just to prove a point. She didn't need him. She was done with him. _

_He'd remembered having driven Maddie back home. Against his better judgment. Not that he had any._

_"Maddie." It was Rayna's response as soon as she opened the door and saw her eldest child in front of her eyes, when she was meant to be at school. Then she'd spotted his truck before he'd been able to leave. He wouldn't look at her. How could he? She had almost died. He had almost killed her. "Coleman told me you were doing better" was all she said resting her hand on the side of the window that was rolled down. "I…" _

_"I thought… Maddie came…to see me..." _

_"She kept asking me if you were okay. If you were going to be okay."_

_"Rayna I..." _

_"I don't know what this means Deacon, even if it means something... I might as well have it the way it's coming and accept my divine punishment for keeping the truth about Maddie all those years ago, but I can't give you an answer as what's going to happen right now, because I honestly don't know.."_

_She called him a few days after that. She was still pregnant. The baby for some reason had survived the wreck and she was planning on keeping it._

_**November 2014**_

"You sure you got everything you need in there?" Rayna asked as she followed Maddie to the front door. "Y'all be better do homework…"

"Yes mom." Maddie said rolling her eyes as she spotted Deacon's truck pulling into the driveway. "I also have all the emergency numbers. We'll be fine." Rayna glanced at her daughter. She was spending the weekend with Deacon. While Daphne was off to DC with Teddy. The long weekend would be even longer for Rayna without her children home.

"Hey." Deacon smiled as soon as he saw his girl all ready to go. "All set?"

"Almost…" Maddie smiled. "I still have one more bag I have to take with me."

"Let's go get it then." Rayna smiled as Deacon followed Maddie back inside the house, sighing as she heard a small voice scream in delight.

"Daddy!" A moment later father and daughter were outside again. Deacon held a small boy in his arms. Rayna watched as Robbie held on to Deacon's shirt for dear life. Her sweet boy was barely one and even for a one year old he was way too small, yet he was energetic and sweet and a carbon copy of Deacon's good looks. "Mama!" her son was a very articulate little boy very early on, and like his daddy, he'd had a way with words and looks that melted her heart. Deacon handed Robbie to his mom as he and Maddie got the rest of the stuff into the truck.

"It's gonna be a very long 3 days" Rayna admitted to herself out loud. She moved back to hand Robbie to Deacon as he opened the back door to get him into the car seat. "Say bye bye mama." Deacon smiled at Rayna.

"Call me when you get there…" She asked him as his back was to her side. "And…"

"I know Ray, this ain't my first time." He leaned to kiss her cheek. She was sure to be looking forward to this. Tandy was on her way so they could relax for a bit before meeting Bucky.

"Y'all have fun."

"It's never all as fun without you…" Deacon said as the car pulled away.

* * *

><p><strong>So what did you think? So I figure Robbie was born June 29, 2013. Just so the story works better. Wanna know what happened… this is a little vague, but we'll have more flashbacks soon. Why aren't Deacon and Rayna together you ask? Even after having a second child together? Well it bugs me too but that's a path of the story that will remain similar to the story. And is Luke in this? <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**COLLIDE**

**What if history repeated itself for Rayna and Deacon? And what's it like for Maddie to look on the sidelines as her mother continues to bet on the safe choice instead of betting on her happiness and Deacon's ability to change. Will they finally get together? **

_**We both have a past, nothing to lose, tonight**_

_**Well it cuts like a knife these bad luck blues**_

_**We both got scars from the hell we been thru**_

_**Somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose**_

_**KID ROCK**_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hello lovely people! I' m so glad all of you are enjoying the story! It makes me so happy to share this with you and wind my frustrations with all of you! I'm beyond sorry about the confusion caused last chapter, I guess it was all over the place and I've already made some changes to it so it makes more sense! Again, so sorry... so about the story-line this will follow... since Robbie was born it's a big change for the whole family so it might not completely follow the show on that matter because that baby changed a lot of things for Rayna and Deacon but yes, I'm planning on bringing Luke on for a while for the propose of angst... but my babies will be happy one day, I tell you... anyway I hope you enjoy and this chapter has a lot of daddy Deacon thrown in because that's my favorite part pf the show right now**

**Enjoy! I own nothing but Robbie! **

**Chapter 2:**

Maddie had been plugged into her phone for the last half an hour of the long drive they were meant to be on and making conversation with one and a half baby wasn't much of one.

"You gonna keep staring at me like that the whole time?" He suddenly heard Maddie say.

"You gonna keep ignoring me the whole ride home?" He retorted back.

"Sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind." Deacon smiled. Yeah he could read Maddie as much as he could feel it himself too. This kind of... arrangement they had. between him and Rayna, and Teddy and Luke thrown in the mix was a lot. More than what he'd been willing to handle in the beginning. But having Maddie and Robbie with him now. His children. That had changed a lot of things for everyone.

"You still not happy about going on that trip with your mama?" Deacon asked.

"What's so amazing about Christmas in a place like Australia anyway?"

"Well, hell don't ask me... your mom's got her diva phase all over now. Not when we were kids. She needs to do it now I guess."

"She should be doing it with you, us and Daphne." Maddie said. Yeah, they've talked about it. Both her parents had told her they've always be a family no matter what... but what kind of family was she going to be by not spending Christmas with her dad but her mom's new lurking around boyfriend, that weird enough also used to be friends with Deacon back in the day.

"Sweetie we've talked about this..."

"Yeah I know. We're spending Thanksgiving together and then Christmas early, I've heard it all."

"So what's the problem then?"

"You and mom." Maddie said without thinking. Deacon raised an eyebrow at her. "I, I just wish you and mom were together dad, that's all."

Yep. He did too.

* * *

><p>The trip had taken up to a rough start when it had begun, it was the week before Thanksgiving and with Daphne off with Teddy for the weekend, Maddie had decided to join her dad on the road to the cabin for a much needed fishing trip and some writing. Plus she had missed a day of school.<p>

"So, the baby's asleep." Deacon said as soon as he emerged from the back room. "What you up for doing?"

"Can we just... sit here for a little while?" Maddie asked from the couch. Deacon joined her. The two of them had had made a lot of progress on their relationship, from writing a song, from her, being the reason he'd gotten back to playing guitar. That was one of the things that got them to talk mostly.

Silence. Great.

"So you think I should try and be happy about going on this trip?" Maddie asked.

"You should do whatever you want with it baby but I think you should give your mama a chance, she really wants to do something special with you kids and me, well I still got Scarlett and my writing to keep me busy, plus we'll talk on the phone and Stripe..."

"Skype."

"Right, all of that, it will go real fast, you'll see." Deacon took her hand and gave it a light squeeze. Suddenly a squeal made them move to action. Robbie was awake.

By the time afternoon hit, the three of them were cuddled up on the couch talking about going to fishing the next morning. Deacon had Robbie on his lap enjoying on a lollipop as he and Maddie tried to focus on the movie.

"See?" Deacon told Maddie with a smile as Robbie focused his eyes on Deacon's fingers and placed the candy on his hand making it all sticky. "This is all we need for the holiday, just being together."

"Daddy!" Robbie chipped in holding the candy up to Deacon's mouth. "Daddy pop!"

"No thanks, I ain't hungry bud" Maddie laughed as Robbie pouted, Deacon rolled his eyes at him and accepted the candy from him before he got all his face messy.

"That's what you get for giving him sugar before bed" Maddie said laughing as his phone buzzed. It was Rayna.

"Sh..." Deacon said slipping away from the couch. "Hey."

"Hey y'all, how's it going?" Deacon looked back at Robbie climbing down the couch and Maddie trying to clean his face.

"It's going, we're just watchin' a movie."

"Well that sounds nice, I just wanted to call and say goodnight."

"Mamma!" Robbie's voice was heard in Rayna's end. "Mamma!"

"Someone is wide awake." She pointed out suspiciously. "You didn't let him have candy before bed again, did you?" Guilt full of silence. "Deacon?"

"What?"

"He's going to keep you guys with an eye open all night..."

"Yeah, tell me about it." He said running his hand trough his hair. "Too late for apologies I guess?"

"It ain't never to late to say I told you so." He could picture her smiling on the phone. "Stop pampering him so much, and don't give him candy before bed, trust me, I know."

"Don't I know?" He asked scrunching his nose a little. It wouldn't be the fist or the last time he had to clean up vomit.

"Dad..."

"Duty calls." Deacon was trying to get away from being called off on his lousy parenting.

"Just put me on speaker phone for a sec?"

"Hey mom." Maddie said with a smile looking reprovingly at Deacon. "How's your relaxing weekend going?"

"Mamma!"

"It's... not as productive as I've would have thought..." She admitted. "And you?"

"Well me and dad did some writing, we can show you the song when we get back." Maddie said with a smile. "And Robbie, well he's... Robbie." The little boy looked up at the sound of his name.

"I take it you'll make sure he sleeps?" Rayna told Maddie. She smiled. "Please?"

"Sure."

"She's the best at it." Deacon said.

"And you're the best at keeping him awake then?"

"Robbie wake!" Robbie grinned up at Deacon.

"Great, well y'all heard him we better make sure he goes to bed." Deacon said. "Goodnight Ray."

"Good night."

"Told ya' you'd get in trouble... again." Maddie smiled at Deacon her father sat back on the couch throwing his phone to the side.

"Yep, you did." Robbie sat by their feet. Movie long forgotten.

This was all he needed. He kept telling himself that. He kept telling Maddie the same thing, but it was moments like this, when they were on the phone, talking about _their children _that made him wonder. _  
><em>

Later that night, Deacon found himself rocking Robbie sleep, his matching blue eyes darted opened and closed a few times as the little boy had come down from the sugar rush he'd had had earlier.

* * *

><p><strong><em>1999<em>**

_He had just met Rayna's little girl for the first time, he was amazed she had even allowed him to hold her after he'd come out of rehab and yet here he was, at the front porch of his cabin, holding on to Maddie for the first time. Oblivious of what it all implied. _

_"You got her to sleep?" Rayna asked coming from behind Deacon with a glass of lemonade. She knew Teddy would have never aproved of this, and yet, for some reason her friendship with Deacon and his recovery had seemed more important in that moment. "That's incredible." _

_After all, Maddie was **his **daughter and he deserved to meet her in peace. "Nah, it was just good luck I guess, I've done it before with Scarlett when she was little." _

_"I remember" She said with a smile. _

_"She's so beautiful Ray, you and Teddy did good." Like vinegar coming from his mouth. _

_Teddy and I didn't do good. **We **did.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Deacon opened his eyes, clearly he had been dreaming, but then he realized he that had been a memory. Of holding his child for the first time and not even realizing it.<p>

"Dad?" Maddie's hand shook him awake. Robbie was sound asleep against his chest.

"See? I told you your mamma I could handle it." Deacon reincorporated himself on the chair carefully not to wake up Robbie.

"I wonder who fell asleep first.." Maddie smiled.

**_you did sweet girl. _**

* * *

><p><strong>So what did you think? Isn't daddy Deacon the sweetest?! I love him so much! So the flashback, Deacon doesn't know Maddie it's his of course but he feels an instant connection to her anyway. We´ll be seeing more parallels on how I imagine Rayna kept Deacon a part of her life growing up and more of Robbie! Thanks again for reading and supporting this! It means the world to me. <strong>

**Please keep reviewing if you can :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**COLLIDE**

**What if history repeated itself for Rayna and Deacon? And what's it like for Maddie to look on the sidelines as her mother continues to bet on the safe choice instead of betting on her happiness and Deacon's ability to change. Will they finally get together? **

_**We both have a past, nothing to lose, tonight**_

_**Well it cuts like a knife these bad luck blues**_

_**We both got scars from the hell we been thru**_

_**Somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose**_

_**KID ROCK**_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey guys! Thank you so much for following and liking the story! I'm having so much fun writing this! So we see a more of an insight of what has happened with Rayna's life in the last two years or so of her life... I've debated how to write this chapter all week but I hope you guys are happy with the result... and man also, how amazing was that finale?! I don't think I can wait for months for it at all to come back...Also that part of the story will be incorporated as well. **

**Enjoy! I own nothing but Robbie! **

**Chapter 3:**

Rayna heard the sound of Deacon's truck parking. She'd recognize the sound of his car anyway, well that sounded kind of crazy but she had a sixth sense when it came to Deacon.

"Oh my gosh! Did you grow?" She joked as soon as Maddie crossed the treshold,she just rolled her eyes. "I've missed you..."

"Mom it was only 3 days, it's not like we'll be gone for a month..." She knew Maddie's comment was two sided. She was still going ahead with celebrating Christmas with Luke and his kids in Australia, something that made her have a talk with both Deacon and Teddy about the whole thing because she didn't want any bad blood between the men in her life.

she and Deacon had so much water under their bridge, two children and a lot of unsolved issues. Teddy and Rayna worried about the girls and their relationship was more of an understanding between the two for the sake of Maddie and Daphne. And then there was Luke, she'd known him for almost as long as Deacon and he had seemed the most viable option when he had asked her out the first time. He was divorced, she was too. He had children, she did too. But two exes she had to deal with as well. Plus she had the Robbie factor, Luke's children were around her girl's age so she didn't worry about that so much if things got serious, but Robbie was another story. He was so little and far from understanding how complicated life was for his mommy and daddy. And to say it had been an easy blow on Luke to find out about Robbie was an understatement. It had not helped he was Deacon's.

"Mamma!" Robbie's restless fight from Deacon's arms pulled her from her thoughts. Her son's smile was wide. His daddy's smile.

"Alright, alright hang on bud." Deacon chuckled as she took the little boy from her. "Hey Ray."

"Hey." She said softly. "How was everything? Y'all had fun?"

"It was fun, we had some good times goin' for us." Deacon said with a smile putting the bags on the living room's floor. "And you?"

"Not as fun, just the regular girly stuff you won't want to hear about... plus Daphne came home a day early so we spent some time just the two of us which was nice."

"Good, that's good..."silence. "Well, I should head back home, I promised Scarlett we'd have dinner together..." This was pretty much what their relationship had been reduced to. The kids and a few moments of feeling so awkward

"Daddy eat!" Robbie babbled clearly trying to make a point. When their son was on the point of something they'd smile of how much he looked like Maddie doing that. "Daddy tay!" He'd been trying so hard to speak. The doctors had told them Robbie was quite ahead of other babies when it came to talking so when he only used two words, everyone tried to help him work on his speech.

"Hey" Maddie suddenly appeared back. "You staying for dinner dad?"

"Nope. Sorry kiddo, got to head back home to Scarlett" Deacon saw the disappointment on his kid's face and the same features that had appeared on Robbie just minutes ago, happened in front of their eyes again. Rayna and Deacon shared a look. "But I'll see you in a couple days for Thanksgiving okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." Uh oh. Maddie gave her dad a quick hug and then headed back upstairs.

"I wonder where she gets that from" Deacon sighed running his hand trough his head as Rayna shot him a look.

"Yeah, I do too..." Rayna smiled down at Robbie who grinned widely as he cuddled closer to his mama's neck.

"Okay so... we still on for Thursday ain't we?"

"Last time I checked... I just need to make sure everyone will behave..." Deacon rolled his eyes. "I'm not saying you won't."

"Look if he behaves and don't act like he's the freakin' king of boot or somethin' it's fine with me..."

"Deacon..."

"What? Last time I checked, you two have not been dating very long and he feels like...he's the boss or ..."

"Maddie told you?"

"She did." Rayna saw the look on Deacon's face and the last thing she wanted was to argue. But she knew she had to, last week, Luke had spent the night at the house and he had told off Robbie, which had infuriated Maddie to say the least. "What you do with him it's your business Ray but.."

"Okay, you know what baby?" She glanced down at her son. She didn't want to argue in front of Robbie, he might have not been able to understand what was going on, but children were badly hurt by arguing, Deacon knew that first hand. "Why don't we go find your sisters kay? I've got to talk to your daddy for a moment."

"Daddy stay!" Robbie waved his head as he had seemed to make a point on what he wanted to say because it sounded pretty clear. "Please?" Rayna couldn't help but look down into her son's shiny blue eyes as he begged her to let Deacon stay.

"I..."

"Deacon!" It was Daphne.

"Hey you." Deacon hugged the little girl. Sigh. Another fight avoided. Thank goodness, but she knew this wasn't over. "How was your trip?"

"It was awesome!" Daphne shared all her excitment with Deacon, saying her dad had showed her the condo he'd just bought there and her room was huge. This threw Deacon off a little but he decided to brush it over. Was Teddy moving to DC?

"Daph, would you do me a favor and take your brother upstairs for a second please?" Daphne looked at her mother confused and then at Deacon.

"I'll be up in a moment to say goodbye alright?" Deacon called after them. Daphne looked worriedly over at Deacon who winked at her.

"I talked to Luke about Robbie, he said he was having a tantrum and..."

"I know what happened Ray, don't wanna heat it, Just... What you do with him it's your business but it's so confusing for Robbie and I just don't want him to start trying to call the shots where my children are concerned..." Deacon was partly right. She had lied to him about Maddie and Robbie had been a clean slate for him. Even though his birth had brought a sense of Deja vu for them, Rayna understood where Deacon was coming from. He'd been deprived of a lot of things with Maddie but he'd gotten back on his feet after the accident, and if their survival from that whole ordeal was any proof, him not letting Luke Wheeler trying to be a parent to his son was right oN the spot.

They had not argued beyond that point because Rayna had been called away by the man in question, while Deacon made his way upstars to say goodbye to the kids. Robbie was fast asleep on Maddie's bed, curled up in a little ball, his messy dark hair sticking out.

"You're so good with him sweetheart." Deacon said as Maddie looked up at him. Daphne besides her. "You both are."

"Is it Luke you and mom are fighting about?" Daphne asked. "Daddy doesn't like him much either."

"I bet." Deacon sat by one side of the bed facing the girls as his hand went to Robbie's cheek. "You guys do, don't you?"

Daphne shrugged. Maddie just rolled her eyes, clearly avoiding her father's gaze. "You're still coming for Thanksgiving or has she ruined that too?"

"Honey..."

"Luke is all you guys argue about..." Maddie avoided his gaze.

"I have to go."

"Just go then," Maddie said dryly. This was really affecting her more than anything. Ever since her mom had started dating Luke, her parent's relationship had been in a limbo. Not like when she first found out about the baby.

* * *

><p><em>Maddie held her mom's hand as they waited for the doctor to call their names. Daphne sat by their side, her eyes moving from time to time, expecting. <em>

_"You sure you told him the right time mom?" _

_"Yes." Rayna sighed. Deacon had just gotten out of the clinic for a few weeks, she had not seen him for so long. She thought of the night of the accident and her chest hurt. She had been to see him a couple times since that. He seemed to be doing good, getting gigs and rebuilding his life after prison and sobriety . And just today she had gotten the nerve to call him. She wanted, well more like the girls wanted to know if they would have a little brother or sister today and Maddie had insisted she told Deacon about it. _

_"Miss Jaymes?" The nurse called their names. "The doctor will see you now." Maddie glanced over at her mother and back at the hall. _

_"Where's he?" Maddie followed her mother inside the examination room, as her and Daphne looked on the side to see if Deacon was coming. _

_"The doctor will be here shortly." Another lady said as she opened the door and closed it behind Daphne. _

_"This is so weird. _

_"No touchin' remember?" _

_"Rayna" The doctor came into the room a moment later. "And committee." They had come with her a few times before as it made her less nervous. "Shall we begin?" _

_Maddie let out a sharp breath as she texted her dad again. _

_Just as on cue, the receptionist peeked her head in. "Dr. Lyon, there's a gentleman here sayin' he's expected in here." Maddie's face light up at the sight of Deacon. Dr. Lyn smiled. _

_"You must be the daddy." Deacon smiled down at Maddie and then at Rayna. _

_"Yeah, that's me ma'm..." _

_"Well good, how about we take a peek and see what's happening with this baby shall we?" The doctor got Rayna ready as the girls and Deacon stood by each side of hers. _

_"How you doin' Ray?" He asked shyly. He was quite aware of the shift of gear their relationship had taken since the accident. Since finding out about the baby. _

_"Well, for one, I never thought I'd be here again..." She admitted as Deacon smiled, offering her his hand, there was that tone in her voice he knew too well. They shared a glance. _

_"There we go..." They heard the doctor say, instanly breaking eye contact but Rayna kept her grip on Deacon, as she could see he was fighting the tears as he heard the heartbeat."It all seems perfect..." The doctor smiled as Maddie shared a quick glance with her dad. "You sure y'all ready to find out?" _

_"Yes!" Daphne said, Maddie and the adults laughed at her excitement. _

_"It's... a boy."_

_That night, Deacon and Rayna sat together at the cabin's porch. They had not really talked about much. Just the kids, like most of their interactions nowadays, and yet, Rayna knew there was something in Deacon's eyes she'd only seen when they were alone. _

_"Hard to believe this would happen huh?" Deacon let out a breath. "Us having a baby... again." Rayna smiled, but she couldn't really look at him. She felt an inmense guilt as realization hit her, Deacon had not been in that room with her when she met Maddie for the first time. _

_"I can't believe I just heard our son's heartbeat today. A boy." _

_"I had my bets on a girl." She admitted playfully as she glanced over at him. He just sighed. "I was so happy you were there today, you know?" _

_"Thank you for letting me be." He smiled taking her hand in his. _

_"I forgot to give you these." She said reaching for her pocket with her free hand. "I was going trough some of my daddy's stuff at the house the other day when I found it." She handed him a picture. A sonogram like the one on his wallet. "It was one of Maddie's last ones before being born." She told him, emotion invaded Deacon's face. "Now you have one of each of our children first pictures." _

* * *

><p><strong>What did you guys think? So as you can see, Luke and Rayna's relationship isn't too far ahead even though I always thought they were moving way too fast. So what's causing Rayna not to go back to Deacon? And how will dinner go! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me, they mean the world to me. :)<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**COLLIDE**

**What if history repeated itself for Rayna and Deacon? And what's it like for Maddie to look on the sidelines as her mother continues to bet on the safe choice instead of betting on her happiness and Deacon's ability to change. Will they finally get together? **

_**We both have a past, nothing to lose, tonight**_

_**Well it cuts like a knife these bad luck blues**_

_**We both got scars from the hell we been thru**_

_**Somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose**_

_**KID ROCK**_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hello all! So I wasn't able to sleep at all last night thinking about this chapter! I do hope you enjoy it and thanks for the reviews I really apreciate them... :) **

**This chapter is heavy on daddy Deacon, which is always a delight to write. **

**Enjoy! I own nothing but Robbie! Alas mistakes are mine as well.. **

**Chapter 4:**

**Thanksgiving Dinner part I **

Deacon remembered the holidays last year. It had been the first time in forever, maybe in his entire life since having Scarett home with him that he looked forward to Thanksgiving or Christmas, all because of his kids, Maddie bless her heart had reached out to him shortly after he got out of rehab, she had wanted to have a relationship with him, Rayna too made her descision about him: She wasn't going to deny him his child. So it had been last year that Deacon had spent Thanksgiving with Rayna and the kids, and Tandy, plus Teddy showing up in the end to spend some time with the girls. For some time now he and Deacon weren't at each other's throats because he was with Peggy and he seemed happy, they were both Maddie's dads and it seemed to be enough for her and the young teen.

Deacon felt his phone buzz in his pocket. It was Maddie "Hey what's up kiddo?"

"You'll never guess what just happened?" Maddie's excitemnt over the phone made her father smile. "Luke isn't coming for thanksgiving..." Deacon sighed.

"No kiddin'?" He had to sound cool. Like he could care less about it.

"I overheard mom and him talking on the phone, he said he had bussiness to take care of with his kids and he was going to take them skiing or something..." Or something. "It's just us and aunt Tandy, isn't it great?"

"Is your mama okay with that?" Deacon cursed under his breath, he should be happy to get the kids for himself, to get Ray for at least a few hours.

"She said she's okay with it, I think she feels bad because we won't spend Christmas at home." Maddie said.

"Hey, we made a deal right?" Deacon said. "I said I'd be bringing over all the presents tomorrow, and it will be even better now that's just us..."

"And dad-" Maddie said quickly.

"Well, we've best make the most of it sweet girl." Deacon smiled into the phone. "I'll see you tomorrow kay?"

"Okay, love you."

"Love you too."

The line went dead on Maddie's end as she spotted her mother looking over her shoulder. "Who'd you love?"

"Deacon, he said he's be bringing Robbie's Christmas presents tomorrow." Maddie said as her mother joined her on the kitchen counter.

"Just Robbie's?" Rayna smiled. "You are happy about just being us for tomorrow, aren't you?"

"Of course. I think it's best for everyone to let it this way, just like last year..." Rayna bit her lip.

* * *

><p><em>A lot had happened in the last year of Rayna's life. She had almost died and she had had a baby, with Deacon. Again. She had no choice nor did she not want Deacon to be a part of her son's life. Robbie looked more like his daddy heyday and it made Rayna's heart flutter. It had been complicated for her and Deacon, it was always complicated for them but she truly believed Robbie to be the reason her and Deacon were on the mend, if not in their romantic relationship, when it came to her children. <em>

_But she did miss him. She missed him the night she woke up from the coma, she missed the few weeks before the accident when everything seemed to be going great for them. _

_And she missed him now as he had began to see someone. It was only fairly recent really, her name was Megan and she was some big shot lawyer he'd met when he was charged. Rayna rolled her eyes at this, she and Deacon both deserved to make their own choices romantically, neither of them was ready to give their relationship another try. At least not for now. _

_"Hey." She remembered having him on her door thanksgiving dinner. He'd promised to try and make it civil for all of them if he got to see his kids. Rayna held an infant Robbie in her arms, who instantly recognized the sound of Deacon's voice and gurgled in his direction. His six month old son wore a turkey ensemble the girls had insisted on, which made Deacon laugh. _

_"Deacon!" Maddie and Daphne ran at his direction. "Doesn't Robbie look adorable?" _

_"Umm.. isn't he a bit warm in those?" Deacon mused. _

_"No, we like it, and he does too, don't you baby?" Rayna said taking Robbie from him and moving to the kitchen. _

_"What's going on?" Deacon asked Maddie. "She cooking?" _

_"No, aunt Tandy is, she's meant to be helping out with non threating chores..." Deacon and Maddie chuckled. _

_"Y'all talking about me?" Tandy appeared by the kitchen. "As I live and breathe. You've cleaned up nice Deacon." _

_"So have you." He winked back. _

_"Ah, well I guess y'all finished with setting up the table?" Tandy asked Maddie and her sister. The girls muttered an almost. "Make yourself useful and help those girls out?" Tandy told Deacon with a smile. _

_"On it." Deacon rolled his eyes as Maddie pulled him along. _

_"So..." Tandy went back to the kitchen to check on her sister. "You okay with all of this?" Rayna turned around quickly, Robbie clung to her chest. _

_"All of..." _

_"Deacon and Teddy, in the same room, sharing a meal together... but essentially Deacon" _

_"He's here for the kids Tandy and so is Teddy, honestly I just want to get it over with..." Robbie started to fuss in her arms as she moved around the kitchen, still trying to make a point to her sister. By the time Robbie had began to cry his heart out, Deacon returned to the kitchen. _

_"He okay?" Deacon asked casually. Rayna took a mental picture of Deacon's face and... outfit. God, there was a reason in the world they couldn't stop making babies or somethin' cause he looked so handsome._

_"I think he's just hungry..." She mused, and her sister shot her a look but Deacon didn't seem to notice. "Would you mind feeding him?" Or else no one is eatin' tonight." Deacon smiled as he watched Rayna get a fresh formula bottle for him. _

_"Here, I got him." Deacon took the baby from her gently, as on cue Robbie began to calm down. "Let's let these ladies work bud, me and you gonna go look for your sisters..." He took the bottle and headed back to find Daphne and Maddie. _

_By the time Tandy and Rayna made it outside the kitchen, Deacon was on the couch feeding Robbie, the girls cuddled next to him watching TV. _

_Yes, she was okay with all of it. _

* * *

><p>"Hey." A year later Rayna found herself opening the door for him again, no Robbie this time to take the lingering moments away. She smiled instantly looking at him. He was wearing a black sweater. Someone shoot her now.<p>

"Hi." Deacon said charmingly. They remained like that for a moment until he felt someone else calling his attention, Robbie had come running their direction and was swiftly caught by his daddy.

"Daddy!" The little boy made it his mission to get Deacon's undivided attention. "Itches, itches..." It was when Deacon noticed he was wearing a woolen sweater and probably paying hell for it.

"It's not half bad... if it were for him, he'd be wearing a plaid shirt and nothing else..." Oh that had come out wrong, and Deacon raised an eyebrow up. "Oh well you know what I mean..."

"Yeah, I do.." He smiled as they walked into the kitchen, Tandy and the girls were already there.

"Deacon!" The girls gave him a hug and smiled. Deacon paid special attention to Maddie and how beautiful she looked. Just like her mama.

"You've cleaned up nice." Maddie said, lingering to hug her dad a bit longer, until Robbie complained about being crushed.

"So I keep hearin'..." Deacon smiled on Rayna's direction, they spoke a few silent words and then Tandy told them off her kitchen for not helping and delaying it even more.

"When's Teddy getting here?" Deacon asked. Maddie said they didn't know if he was even going to make it in time for dinner because he had had a meeting in DC the day before and he had not being able to make it back home. Deacon felt something on his chest but decided to ignore it. No Teddy huh?

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter will be a two part event because I need to gather my thoughts on the next one... Will something else happen?<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**COLLIDE**

**What if history repeated itself for Rayna and Deacon? And what's it like for Maddie to look on the sidelines as her mother continues to bet on the safe choice instead of betting on her happiness and Deacon's ability to change. Will they finally get together? **

_**We both have a past, nothing to lose, tonight**_

_**Well it cuts like a knife these bad luck blues**_

_**We both got scars from the hell we been thru**_

_**Somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose**_

_**KID ROCK**_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey guys! Soo it took me a while to post this because of the end of the semester and all... I hope you are still enjoying it, please share your thoughts with me if you can :) I love hearing from you! **

**Enjoy! I own nothing but the plot and the adorableness that's Robert James Claybourne! **

**Chapter 5: **

**Thanksgiving Dinner part II **

Maddie kept looking at her phone for what seemed like forever as she watched Deacon play with Robbie. Ever since finding out that Deacon was her father, she wondered, she wondered what it would have been like to grow up with him. The three of them. I mean she loved Teddy, he was her dad, he'd raised her and he'd always be a part of her life. But she did wonder. She only half heard her mother call her to the dining room.

"Wanna help me out with this one for a sec?" Deacon told Rayna as Robbie was on a total sugar rush. Maddie smiled at Deacon from across the room but he noticed something was clearly off with his kid.

"Somethin' wrong kiddo?" Deacon took a seat by her side, Maddie waved her head. They remained quiet for a second, staring at the tree Rayna and the kids had decorated together. "Y'all did an amazing job with that tree, just look at it... It's just amazing."

"You trying to make small talk dad? Because it's not working..." Maddie said annoyed. Deacon smiled.

"I just... I never had a tree like that growing up, never decorated one either until I met your mama." Maddie stared back at him. He'd never told her that, she knew Deacon wasn't very open about his childhood or anything so she was surprised to hear that. "That's when my real family began... I think."

"And now you have two kids." Maddie pointed out.

"That I do, two pretty amazing kids if you don't mind me sayin'." Maddie smiled as she cuddled closer to her father on the couch.

"Deacon?"

"Yeah?"

"You ever wondered what our lives would have been like if you and my mom... If you had been with us since I was born?" Deacon remained silent. He looked up to hold Maddie's chin with his finger.

"Yep, I did back when your mom first had you, and I didn't know about you, I thought about it with Daphne and even Robbie, It's a hard question to answer honey... but yes I do. It's that what's bothering you? Why you've been quiet all night?"

"If I tell you something, you promise not to get mad?" Maddie asked like a small child. She reincorporated herself so she was facing Deacon. "I think I'm jealous of Robbie sometimes... The way you are with him."

"Maddie..."

"It's not your fault... I always had you in my life but... it's... you were always my Uncle Deacon..."

"So when you see me with your baby brother? You wish that'd been you?" Maddie nodded, tears started to appear ever so ligty on her eyes. "Maddie, sweetie, I love you the same way I love Robbie, that's not ever gonna change... you got that?" Maddie smiled sligtly as Deacon cleaned her tears away. "You might be growing up already, but we still got some time to... to do fun stuff you and I..."

"Like fishing?"

"And guitar.." Father and daughter smiled at each other and Maddie let her head fall on Deacon's shoulder as they stared at the tree for a little while longer.

"We better go and see what's taking your mama so long to come and drag us away to eat." Deacon said after he made sure Maddie was more calm. In that moment, Rayna walked in.

"Well that dinner isn't goin' to eat itself up guys, come on..." Deacon and Maddie stood up. Maddie walked right passed her but Deacon stopped to look at Rayna.

"You look really pretty tonight." She was for once wearing a dark blue dress which made her even shine. She blushed. "I just thought you should know that, in case I don't get a chance to tell you..." She arched her eyebrow. Oh, right, the trip.

They began to walk to the dining room when Rayna pulled him away for a moment. "Everythin' okay?" Rayna asked him. Deacon told her about his conversation

with Maddie. "Oh... well this had a long time comin' didn't it?"

"I don't know Ray... but it does stir some things up you know? Painful things."

"I'll talk to her."

"You don't have to, she'll be fine, it's just hard for her sometimes, so confusing."

"It is for all of us."

* * *

><p>Dinner went quite smoothly. Just like last year at Chistmas, It had just been them for most of the night. Robbie sat on Deacon's lap as he took turns eating and feeding the young boy who would still have trouble with a fork. Maddie and Daphne sat on either side of Deacon. Yes it was certainly something she would think about. What life would have been like if she had told him about his child 15 years ago. What was like for them to get to a point were they'd have two children together and yet she was spending Christmas on a resort with Luke Wheeler, friend of Deacon's Luke Wheeler, who had seen first hand what alcohol did to Deacon, who somehow understood and yet he was so far from comprehending everything between her and Deacon, their children, their history and most of all, the love they had for one another.<p>

"Daddy try!" Robbie squealed delighted as he was having the best time with his apple sauce. Rayna was pulled away from her thoughts by the image of her 18 month old son feeding Deacon. The smile on the man's face was priceless as Robbie splattered the spoon all over his face. "Daddy mess!" he smirked. Daphne and Maddie laughed as Deacon cleaned himself up.

"Here." Rayna handed him a wet towel with a smile. "It will not come off otherwise."

"Thanks Ray." Deacon cleaned himself up and then Robbie. The boy made a face, frustrated like his daddy when they did something that annoyed him.

"Mama! stop!" Robbie told her off pushing Deacon off, "Daddy mean.."

"I'm mean huh? Guess there's one little boy that won't get any presents if he doesn't look presentable enough." Rayna said before Deacon could answer. Robbie's eyes lighted up.

Presents.

* * *

><p>Growing up, Deacon wasn't able to enjoy Christmas like a normal child, his daddy would either drown down all of his mother's savings or he'd be too mortified by how he didn't want to make his father mad. Hell, all he wanted was for someone to care. So now, looking at the wonder on his children's eyes, Robbie would probably not even remember any of it, still he'd loved his presents all the same, he was all into cars and toy's story so Deacon had gotten him a remote control Lighting McQueen he'd eventually teach him how to maneuver, for now the delight as Daphne turn it on for him and began chasing him all over the place was the best part of Deacon's day any given time. Maddie had gotten Deacon's old guitar all fixed up, Rayna was sure that beat any insecurities her eldest child might have about his connection to Deacon, he might not have been there in the delivery room or saw his first steps but they were family for sure. Rayna used to watch Maddie as on tour, he'd play his guitar and he'd be mesmerized by it. It was no denying she was Deacon's child. Even Daphne had gotten a lot of stuff.<p>

"There, a cowboy all right" Tandy said as she put Woody's hat on top of that curly black hair head, Robbie grinned up at his parents and continued to take delight on his presents.

"And Santa ain't here yet Deacon..." Tandy said. "You really out did yourself here."

"Making up for lost time?" He offered. She nodded understandingly. "I'll make sure Santa gets the message for when they come back from the trip"

"You do that..."

Rayna sat besides Deacon on the living room couch as they watched the kids around the Christmas tree. A sudden sense of guilt washed over Rayna. God, having Maddie had been hard but at least she knew she wanted her to have a good life, one that she knew Deacon could not provide. But looking at them, here, like a family had taken a toll on her. "Ray? You okay?"

"I'm fine..." She smiled, cuddling closer to him almost automatically, she was still her best friend... wasn't he? Rayna saw Maddie give something to Robbie and tell him to go over mommy and daddy, she didn't know what it had been, but Maddie had been watching as her mother took comfort in being this close to Deacon. "What'ya got there baby?"

Robbie climbed on the couch between his parents as he opened his hand to reveal it's content. "It's miseltoe! Mom and Deacon have to kiss now or they'll be cursed forever." Daphne said as the two adults pulled apart from their embrace. "Go on then Deacon.."

"I don't think that's how it works honey..." Rayna said.

"Come on Ray." Deacon said boyishly. "We wouldn't want to ruin Christmas, would we?" Deacon winked at Maddie and then leaned to kiss her, she was face to face with him so she'd thought she'd kissed her for real, but Deacon's lips moved to her cheek.

_Well, hell..._

"Merry Christmas Ray..."

"Merry Christmas Deacon..." They both noticed as Robbie had drifted off to sleep with his body almost sprawled out across Deacon. "Thank you for this, it was really good, for Maddie, the baby, all of us."

"No problem." He offered her a smile. "Speaking of babies, I best take this little guy to bed..."

Her phone suddenly buzzed. It was Luke..."Umm.., I have to get this..."

Deacon watched as she moved away, he picked up the little boy in his arms and headed upstairs. "Thanks for everythin' Tandy, don't think I've thanked you enough for putting up with me..."

"Right, well, it isn't just you, ummm you're really good right now, being focused on being a father, that's good, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, that means a lot."

* * *

><p>"There we go big bud." Deacon placed the little boy on the crib and tucked him in. Maddie and Daphne watched him from aside. "I love you."<p>

"You leaving?" Maddie asked sadly.

"I... I'm not sure sweetheart, y'all have to go do a lot of stuff goin' on.."

"You mean Luke..."

"And Dad..."

"I'll see you for your lesson next week, kay... it's not so far away..."

"Deacon? You don't have to go... we could still do somethin' else..." Rayna said, the girls looked up at him with a smile. "You know? We still have that Guitar Hero thing downstairs..."

"You trying to get me to play a game 'bout playing guitar?"

"Or we could do bowling..."

"Yes! Come on Deacon, it'll be fun!" Daphne tugged on his sleeve. "Please?"

How could he say no to his three girls?

* * *

><p>The weeks came and went, and soon it was the weekend before they left for the trip, Deacon had seen Rayna and Luke together, getting closer by the minute as they were together on tour, sure, it wasn't bad blood, not at first anyway, he and Luke had been friends for years and he was really grateful for everything that had come with that tour. "So you excited about the holidays?" Rodney, a guy from Luke's band asked Deacon as they climbed on the bus back to Nashville after being on the road for almost two weeks straight. "It's my kid's first Christmas so my wife is going all out this year."<p>

"Ah yes, kid's first Christmas's kind of a big deal..."

"How' bout you Deacon?"

"Gonna spend it with my niece and her friends for the most of it..."

"How about your little girl and that baby of yours?"

"Nah, it's up to their mama... they're going on a fancy trip."

"Guess Wheeler kind of busted off your Christmas, didn't he?"

* * *

><p>There he was, standing at the airport, kids in one hand and bags in another, he had promised Rayna he'd have the kids ready for her on a Monday since he'd allowed him to take them for a bonfire at the cabin the day before.<p>

"There you are!" Rayna said as soon as Deacon handed Robbie to her. "I was begining to think ya'll bailing on me."

"Don't temp me..." Maddie whispered so that only her dad could hear.

"Come on now Maddie, we made a promise, remember?" Deacon wrapped his arm around Maddie's neck for a hug. "We are all tryin' here."

"I know..."

"So, you'll call me as soon as you land?" Deacon said watching Luke as he toted Robbie. "I'm really gonna miss all of you."

"Of course, and us too." There was nothing but sincerity in her words. "You tell Scarlett I said Merry Christmas."

"Will do." Deacon leaned in to kiss her cheek as she smiled. "Have a god one Ray."

"Merry Christmas Deacon."

"I'm really gonna miss you girls so much, you take care of your mama, kay?" Deacon hugged both girls as tight as he was allowed to. "Love you guys, never, ever forget it."

"Daddy!" Robbie scrambled out of Luke's arms. "Daddy pain!"

"Plane, that's right bud, you going on a plane..." Deacon smiled at his little boy. "You be good with mama and everyone else alright? I'll see you soon."

"Uke plane!" Robbie said pointed from the window. "Daddy plane."

"No bud, can't come, not this time, but Maddie's going with you" From the pouting his face managed to crack a smile.

"Maddie?"

"That's right, she going with you..." Deacon handed the little boy to Rayna. "Love you bud."

"Love ya daddy!"

_Maddie's question during Thanksgiving still troubled Deacon... what would it had been like if he and Rayna has stayed together? It was too horrible to wonder as he watched, his family getting on Luke Wheeler private plane._

* * *

><p><strong>What did you guys think? So I'm gonna speed things up a bit, with a certain situation that has all of us freaking out about the second half of the season. So based on what we've learned... That's what the next chapters will be about...<strong>

**Please review if you can! And hey! It's almost Christmas! **


	6. Chapter 6

**COLLIDE**

**What if history repeated itself for Rayna and Deacon? And what's it like for Maddie to look on the sidelines as her mother continues to bet on the safe choice instead of betting on her happiness and Deacon's ability to change. Will they finally get together? **

_**We both have a past, nothing to lose, tonight**_

_**Well it cuts like a knife these bad luck blues**_

_**We both got scars from the hell we been thru**_

_**Somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose**_

_**KID ROCK**_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hello everyone! Happy Holidays! Hope you have a wonderful time with people you love and enjoy it! I wasn't going to update this today but I figured we all need more of Daddy Deacon in our lives! Specially at Christmas time! **

**Chapter 6: **

You know how people say your life flashes before your eyes at one point? Yes, well..._ "Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if you and mom had been together when I was born?__"_

That question lingered within Deacon the following days... as he wondered what the kids would be doing without him... What Rayna would do without him? Hell, he didn't want to think about it. About her and Luke, doing God knows what in that place. Maddie had sent him a few pictures of the place, with various captions such as. "Miss you dad." "Wish you were here."

Deacon sat across next to Scarlet as they watched some Christmas movie, he wasn't really payin' attention to it much as he glanced over at the clock, He had been waiting to hear from the kids all day, after all, it was Christmas Eve.

"They'll call." Scarlett had said, stealing a bunch of popcorn from him. "Maddie said she would..."

Of course she would.

His phone buzzed then, when it was an unknown number calling he frowned for a bit before answering. "Hello?"

"Deacon!" It was Daphne's chiping voice on the other line. "Merry almost Christmas Deacon!"

"Hey you too kiddo, what's up?"

"Maddie and Robbie are here too!" She said. Deacon could almost picture Maddie rolling her eyes at her little sister.

"Hey dad." Maddie's voice said on the phone. "You're on speaker phone!"

"Hey y'all how's the trip?"

"It's... it's okay, I mean, Luke hired a nanny to follow all of us around, which I don't think it was really necesary but she said we're all here to have fun..."

"Don't tell me it suck huh Mads?" Maddie smiled on the other side at the pet name. he'd gotten used to Maddie's teenage attitude when she was annoyed,

"It's been fun but... I miss you..."

"I miss you too sweetie..." Deacon then heard Daphne talking to Robbie on the other side, saying something about him being on the phone.

"Daddy!" The excitement on his boy's voice was not to be missed. "Daddy I want Santaaa!"

"Patience buddy, he'll be there before you know it"

"Daddy... come..."

"Robbie, daddy can't home, I already said that..." Maddie hissed. "Oh well, he's been asking a lot about you.. he isn't Luke's biggest fan.." Msddie said in a whisper.

"Neither am I bud." Scarlett was staring at Deacon as he spoke.. "Scarlett says hi by the way."

"Umm.. mom wants to talk to you." He heard Maddie say. He held his breath.

"Alright, y'all be good now, Merry almost Christmas. I love you.."

"Daddy X'mas!" he heard Robbie say into the phone once more.

"We all love you back dad." Maddie said. "Here is mom.."

"Hey." Deacon clutched the phone closer as she spoke. "How's it going?"

"Its going... you?"

"It's... well the kids really miss ya and I know it can't be easy for you that we..."

_We. _"It's fine Ray, really... Juliette invited me to this Christmas thing she and Avery are having for the baby..."

"Still hard to believe it's almost time for another baby to come into the world, it wasn't so long ago..."

"Yep, I know..." Silence. "Listen Ray, I..."

"Deacon, I have to go, we're heading out right this second, We taking Robbie to see some Australian reindeer or sometin'..."

"Oh... okay then, I just... Merry almost Christmas Ray..."

"Merry almost Christmas Deacon."

* * *

><p>"Who killed your dog? Oh wait you don't have one anymore cause you gave it away..." Juliette sliped on the couch next to Deacon. "Hey."<p>

"Ummm.. what?" He said, not looking at her but at his phone. "Sorry..."

"You know, this a Christmas party, just cause we can't drink doesn't mean all of it has to be boring..." Juliette bit her lip as she leaned closer to see what had caught his attention. "Oh, was this..."

"They're meetin' Santa or Rudolph or something, Luke arranged it for them..." It was a picture of the kids. Maddie and Daphne stood side by side next to the reindeer while Maddie held her little brother.

"Aw, man Deacon, I'm sorry..."

"It's fine, I was the one to tell Maddie she should send me pictures. I'm just.. I just miss them like hell, ya know?"

Juliette nodded, holding on to her belly... "You staring..."

"She kicking like crazy yet?" Deacon glanced at the unborn baby. "I remember when I used to play guitar for Robbie, he'd go nuts."

Juliette smiled. "Oh she's a kicker alright, her favorite ball? My bladder." They both laughed softly. "You seriously alright?"

"I'm fine, just... I have a bit of a headche... it's been a while since... I think I'm coming down with somethin'."

"Sucks being you right now huh?"

"Make fun all you want. I... I think I'm gonna head home... I just... I'm not in the party mood you know, I'd hate to ruin your party." Juliette smiled.

"Hey I get it, if you'd ran out with my kids like that, I wouldn't be Christmasy either..."

"It ain't like that Juliette..."

"It ain't?"

"Nope."

"Whatever you say."

* * *

><p>He barely made it home in one piece, his head was really killing him. And for some reason, he had seemed to notice his limbs were getting heavy by the minute. He cursed under his breath as he reached the bathroom, opening the cabinet and engulfing down to pills. He closed his eyes from the pain as he forced himself to the couch, he wasn't sure he'd make it all the way upstairs. Shoot, he'd forgotten to call Scarlet and tell her to make sure she locked the door when she came home. He pulled out his phone, but he barely made out the dial tone before it all went black.<p>

"Hey, what's up?" Scarlett picked up the phone, there was nothing there. "Deacon?"

"Scarlett" She saw Juliette coming up to her. "You seen Deacon anywhere? He said he'd be going home, but I just.. I didn't think he should be driving... but his truck is gone."

"What? Why he was fine this morning..." the girl said. Eyes wide. "Did he tell you somethin' was wrong?"

"He didn't need to, he looked like hell, I just assumed it was because he didn't have the kids for Christmas, but now, I don't know, I have this feelin'..."

"He just called me but, there was nothing there... just stone cold tone. "

* * *

><p><em>He'd waltzed into Rayna's home after she'd called him. She needed him to get here as soon as possible. A bucket of Rocky Road with him.<em>

_"Ray?" He said as soon as he entered. He didn't see no one so he wondered around the rooms searching for her. "Hey Ray." _

_"Oh good, you're here!" She said. She was sitting on the couch, her prominent belly wrapped under a large shirt. _

_"You okay?" _

_"Now that that's here, I am..." She glanced over at the ice cream with a smile. Deacon smiled too, for some reason. "I am craving so much of that stuff I swear I don't know what this kid wants..." _

_Deacon moved to the counter to get a spoon, handing it to her. Rayna motioned to the seat next to her. "Where are the girls?"_

_"Teddy's" was her response. "I... I didn't know who else to call..." he saw her blushing. "I am sorry." _

_"Listen Ray, I told you I wanted to help out, the best I could so if that means bringing ice cream over, then that's what I'll do." He smiled charmingly. He was grateful she was hell froze over hormonal or she'd snap at him. Truth be told, this last few months since the accident happened, their relationship had cracked a bit more than usual, it was understandable though, from one or more ways you'd look at it, She had hurt and he'd responded poorly, almost ... well, let's just say it was a small miracle both she and their unborn baby boy had survived. They both knew there was a lot to go over, he'd been clean four months now, ever since getting out of jail. _

_"What's on your mind?" She asked curiously, she knew that look too well. _

_"Nothn'... How's everything going?" _

_"As well as you'd expect for someone like me to be like... on her third baby..." _

_"What do you mean?" _

_"I mean that I'm old... I mean I shouldn't be this exhausted to do things, but I am..." _

_"Ray, you're not old." He huffed with a small smile. There was an understanding smile shared between the two of them. _

_"My body screams that I am though...You want some?" she asked. Deacon shook his head. It was suddenly getting hot in there. She gestured at the ice cream. _

_"Nope, I'm good." Rayna sat back on the couch. Ice cream on the coffee table. "So...How's..." _

_"He doing?" Deacon nodded. "Well for one, he thinks my bladder is a shiny ball or something... Other than that..." Deacon saw her face transform into...well he couldn't really place it. _

_"Ray?" _

_"Come here for a sec." She said simply gesturing to the foot of the couch so he was facing her belly, she took his hand and placed it on her shirt. }_

_"Rayna...what..." _

_"Sh... just wait." Then he felt it. It was his son, their son kicking... "He's been doing that a lot lately." Deacon smiled. A sincere smile like the ones he used to give her back when there was just no alcohol, no addiction._

_"Wow, that's amazing..." He said sweetly. "I.. he's a strong one." _

_"He sure is, a lot like Maddie now that I think of it, I was sure she'd be a boy." Deacon tensed, he stood up and went back to his spot on the couch. "Both strong." _

_"Just like their mama, that's for sure." _

* * *

><p><strong>So I was thinking about ending this chapter with Deacon in the hospital but... it is Christmas after all and I just thought the flashback was more fitting, as always, I want to thank everyone reading and supporting this! It means the world to me! <strong>

**Merry Almost Christmas you guys! **


	7. Chapter 7

_**COLLIDE**_

_**What if history repeated itself for Rayna and Deacon? And what's it like for Maddie to look**__**on the sidelines as her mother continues to bet on the safe choice instead of betting on her happiness and**_

_**Deacon's ability to change. Will they finally get together?**_

_**We both have a past, nothing to lose, tonight**_

_**Well it cuts like a knife these bad luck blues**_

_**We both got scars from the hell we been thru**_

_**Somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose**_

_**KID ROCK**_

**A/N: Hello everyone! Happy new year! I hope this year is full of ****good things, success and love for everyone! Have a good one! So I was watching tv yesterday and saw the new promo for February and it got my mind going! If you haven't seen it, you should! Anyways, I hope you like this! Sorry in advance for the angst but I feel like both Rayna and Deacon both need it!**

**I own nothing except for the miracle that's Robbie Claybourne**

**Chapter 7:**

Darn. Deacon had to grab onto the kitchen counter for support. It was the third time of the week he'd had a terrible headache. Ever since that night at Juliette's party to which Scarlett had almost found him passed out on the couch. She didn't say anything to him though and just figured he was sad for not having the kids home, thankfully Rayna had decided to return home early for New Years, she knew it had been really hard on Maddie having to deal with Luke since she wasn't having it with him. It wasn't that he wasn't a good guy, he just wasn't her dad.

"You okay?" Scarlett asked as she entered the kitchen. "You look terrible " Deacon gave her a grim smile.

"I'm fine."

"You don't look so fine," she added annoyed as she offered him a cup of warm coffee. "You meeting Rayna and the kids later?"

"That's the plan." He said with a glint of happiness in his voice, hell, he'd missed those kids like crazy. And Rayna, he missed her too

...-...

"Where is he?" Daphne asked for the third time as her eyes scanned for Deacon. It was Robbie who spotted him from his mother's arms.

"Daddy!" For a one and a half year old, the tone of excitement in his voice made Rayna smile. Just like his daddy.

"Deacon!" Daphne broke into a run.

"Hey kiddo!" Deacon almost fell back as he picked the little girl up and gave her a big hug.

"Dad!" Maddie was next to her father the next minute giving him an equally warm hug. "Merry Christmas dad."

"Merry Christmas Maddie, I missed you. How was it down under?"

"It was awesome! And so warm, you would have loved the Kangaroos Deacon, we even patted one!" Daphne chipped in as Rayna approached with Robbie in her arms.

"Well that sure sounds like fun, I'm glad y'all had a good time."

"Hey stranger." Rayna said as soon as she closed in on them.

"Hey Ray."

"Daddy!"

"Hey buddy." Deacon took the little boy from Rayna and gave him a tight hug. "Missed you like crazy, you a good boy for your mama?" Robbie looked over at Rayna and then back at him. The little boy settled in his daddy's arms putting his head below Deacon's chin.

"Yes he was… For the most of it." Rayna said with a smile. "Who'd figured he had quite the temper." Deacon arched his eyebrows.

"Ummm… I hope Luke didn't have it too hard." Maddie looked at her mother awkwardly.

"Nah, he's got teenagers, guess he's used to it by now."

"Right."

"Hey thanks for picking us up, Luke..."

"I get it Ray, I really do, he didn't want to deal with me, it's fine."

"That's not even close Deacon, he's your friend…"

"Exactly my point." Deacon said with a grin. "Come on y'all, let's go grab the bags," He said as he took Daphne's hand and led them to baggage claim.

As they made their way outside the cold December weather, Deacon had a close grip on Robbie as the little boy molded against his body for warmth.

"Hey Deacon…" Daphne asked as they pulled away from the airport. "Can we stop and get something to eat?"

"Daph, you just had breakfast on the plane like an hour ago…" Maddie said annoyed. Deacon laughed as he looked over at Rayna.

"I could eat." Deacon said with a smile, looking in the review at the kids. "How 'bout some fries?"

"Fies!" Echoed Robbie from his booster seat.

"What do you say Mads?" Deacon asked his daughter. "You in?"

Maddie bit her lip for a second. It was good to be home, and for a split second she felt as if she had had these small moments with her parents all her life. As if they were really a family.

...-...

"You saw Deacon?" Tandy asked as she sat next to her sister on the couch.

"He asked me if he could pick us up from the airport Tandy, I had already agreed to it because the kids wanted to."

"You Didn't?" She inquired.

"Well, I don't know, it's a tad complicated given I went on that trip with Luke."

"Was he pissed?"

"Not really, he doesn't need to really, Deacon is still my friend..."

"Who also happens to have given you children honey, twice."

"Luke understands it Tandy, he's got two kids with his ex. It's just… Me and Deacon, we have these dance…"

"Honey, come on who'd you think you're talking to? I've been in the mist of that dance, I know how it goes. And I doubt Luke is as skilled as the rest of us to join you both in it."

-...-

Deacon woke up with another headache. He could barely make up where he was. He'd fallen asleep an hour before he had guitar lesson with Maddie, just as on cue, there was a knock on the door. He moved from the couch careful not to Step in one of Robbie's scattered toys.

He ran his bands trough face as he opened the door, Maddie smiled brightly at him. "Hey."

"Hey you." He looked over to the car and saw it was Teddy who had dropped her off. "How you doin'?"

"Good, mom said she'd bring Robbie later because she had a meeting at the label." Maddie said as soon as she placed her bags down_. And lunch with Luke_.

"I thought we could do some playing and then make lunch." Maddie said. She noticed something was off with Deacon though, he seemed a million miles away. "Dad?"

"Yeah, sorry honey, I'm just… A bit tired."

"Oh, well we could watch a movie or something, and I'll make us something really quick to eat, who's that?"

"Maddie you don't really have to, it's fine, I'm just getting old I guess."

"you're not old dad, cause that would mean mom is too and you can't tell her that, she'd kill you."

"She would, wouldn't she?" Maddie smiled as she put her guitar at the couch and moved to the kitchen.

It was a few minutes after what seemed like forever for Deacon who had fallen back into the couch. "You doing okay in there?" He asked worriedly.

"Deacon, it's fine, it's just Mac and cheese."

"Kay!" He said, closing his eyes again.

...-...

"Miss Jaymes, are you sure you want to do this today, Tomorrow is New Years…"

"Exactly, that's why I need to get this done, so we can all go home early."

"Mama!" A squeal echoed in Rayna's ear was Robbie had once more left her office. An aid had him in her arms.

"Hey little man, you getting bored like crazy already huh?" She smiled as she picked him up and swung him over her hip, she continued to sign on papers, "sit with mama for a second here, I'm almost done and then we'll go see your daddy and Maddie, okay?"

Robbie smiled as he sat on his mother's lap. That was when Luke walked into her office. "Hey babe."

"hey there." She looked up for a second as he kissed her and planted a hand over on Robbie's head. "Sorry about this, I know We had lunch planned and all but I wanted to finish this before tonight,"

"You still got to eat Rayna, so I came to make sure you have something in you at least." He said with a smile."already ordered it."

"You didn't have to Luke, honestly."

"There's one slight problem though, I did not know this little one was joining us."

"Yes well, Teddy had the girls and I asked him to drop Maddie off but I couldn't leave this one here with his aunt Tandy for the day so here we are." Luke smiled. "I'm sorry babe I know I owe you after I cut the trip to Australia short.."

Luke huffed. "It's fine, I got ya' it was a conjoined decision Rayna, we both needed to come home."

"I know but still…"

"Miss Jaymes? Your food is here." A knock on the door.

"Thanks Luisa." Rayna told the eager intern. She and Luke sat across from each other at her desk with Robbie still on her lap, his thick black hair and blue eyes staring at his Mama's boyfriend.

"So you still heading home to Memphis to see your mom tomorrow?" Rayna asked trying to bring the tension down.

"Ya' I figured I take Saige and Colt, she ain't too happy with me since my divorce, so I best smooth things up."

"Good, the kids will be pleased…"

"I guess," Luke didn't want to know or ask about her plans for the next day, he was afraid to hear the answer. While they ate, Robbie had fallen asleep on his momma's lap and she began stroking his hair absent minded as she did countless times for Deacon. Luke stared at her but didn't say anything.

-...-

"Is it good?" Maddie asked as Deacon tasted his lunch. "Aunt Tandy helped me get better, at least I'll survive with this by myself."

"Unlike your mama, who couldn't cook to save her life." Deacon smirked, Maddie laughed.

"Yeah, she said you always cooked."

"I did, tried anyway." There was a silence between them. "Maybe I could teach you a trick or two if you want."

"I'd like that." His daughter smiled. Maddie stared at Deacon for a moment, something seemed to be off with him, he seemed weary and sad, she'd seen it before the Christmas trip and now it seemed more evident than ever.

"Something on your mind Maddie?" His voice brought her back.

"I'm fine, just… is everything okay with you? You just seem, I don't know, worried…" Deacon held his breath. The last thing he wanted was to worry Maddie and for her to let Rayna know these past few weeks had been pretty miserable.

"I'm fine sweetheart, just a bit worn off from tour, no biggie. Guess I'm not made of that though wood anymore."

He'd been touring with Luke and will for a while, weird enough it was a pretty big business and career move, in his personal life though, it was like being kicked in the gut.

"Maybe one day it will be me with you and mom on stage." Deacon sighed.

"Maybe."they began to pick up the table and Deacon felt more up to playn' so they spent the rest of the early after on working on a song. A song that helped Deacon forget about ignoring the signs that those might be more than actual headaches.

It wasn't until the late afternoon when Maddie was alone at the house because Deacon was supposed to be at a AA meeting that she thought she'd heard Someone parked a car, it was Deacon who was home early. He barely made it down the car and onto the carpet until Maddie heard a loud thud. "Dad?" To her horror, her father was face down on the floor, a bottle of pills on his hand. "Dad?!" Maddie hurried to his side trying to flip him over on his back. "Dad? Come on wake up! Wake up, what's wrong?" She to shake him Until her emotions became too much and she began to shake, but are had to think fast, she grabbed her phone and dialled 911.

"Please I nee an ambulance at this address, my dad's passed out and I can't wake him up!" She cried. She continued to hold on Deacon even after hanging up. "Daddy please don't leave me I just got you, please don't go… I'm here okay, just hold on…"

-...-

Rayna was heading to the parking lot with Robbie after Luke had left to pick up his kids and head to Memphis. She hadn't noticed she had 16 missed calls from Maddie. She balanced the baby on her hip and got a hold on her phone. Panic ran trough her.

"Mom!" Maddie's cry was barely audible, "mom where were you! I have been trying to call you… Dad…."

"Maddie, sweetie, what's wrong… Where's Deacon?"

"Mom, he wouldn't wake up…" Maddie choked the last word out.

Hospital.

**Hello everyone! This was a really long chapter! I began writing and couldn't stop, I do hope you like it, it was a different take on Deacon's being sick revelation, I just needed for it to be Maddie who was with him when it happened… What did you think?**

**Happy new year everyone! And please don't forget to share your thoughts with me, reviews make a writer smile!**


	8. Chapter 8

**COLLIDE**

**What if history repeated itself for Rayna and Deacon? And what's it like for Maddie to look on the sidelines as her mother continues to bet on the safe choice instead of betting on her happiness and Deacon's ability to change. Will they finally get together?**

**We both have a past, nothing to lose, tonight**

**Well it cuts like a knife these bad luck blues**

**We both got scars from the hell we been thru**

**Somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose**

**KID ROCK**

**A/N: Hello everyone! How is the early year resolution going? I'm on for a long flight and didn't want to keep you waiting, this is Heavy in Angst and flashbacks so I do hope you enjoy it.**

**I own nothing except for the miracle that's Robbie Claybourne**

**Chapter 8:**

Her heart and head were all over the place, as she watched her son from the review mirror, she couldn't help but wonder about the day she finally confronted Deacon.

_She took a deep breath as she parked her car on Deacon's sideway, she had just being released from the hospital a couple days before. Much to her shock, after being in a medical induced coma for two full weeks, all in all while her son grew inside her. Hers and Deacon's._

_"Hey." She said as soon as he opened the door, he wasn't expecting her to be standing there, if circumstances had been different she would have just walked right inside._

_"Hi." His voice was low but there was something in it that made her nervous._

_"Can I come in?" He nodded and made his way inside, closing the door behind Rayna. He felt awkward. Never in his life had he felt uncomfortable around Ray, nether did he want to, it was a horrible feeling. "So I guess they put you up to speed on what happened?" She asked. On the baby, yeah._

_"Are you okay?" Genuine worry ticked in his voice. "I mean, is everything okay?"_

_"They baby is fine Deacon." She said with a soft smile. "The doctors said the little one is a fighter." Deacon nodded, his eyes had started to water. "Hey. Come on now, I Said it's fine."_

_"I'm sorry Ray, I'm so sorry…" He was silent and his eyes were glistening. "I know I don't even… I mean you've heard it a hundred times before and it doesn't even count no more, but.."_

_"Would you stop? I didn't come here to listen to that, if there is someone to blame for what happened it's the both of us, as for the baby, don't ever think I regret this child inside me Deac, I'd never not want your child…"_

_"Seems like we landed back to where we were, me being a drunk and you trying to help me huh?" His smile was mildly present. "I don't even know what to say Ray, I mean we didn't even…"_

_"Can we sit?" She asked suddenly. Deacon sighed they had been standing there for God knows how long. "Mind getting me some water?"_

_"Ice tea okay?"_

_"Perfect." She smiled as she watched him move to the kitchen, the warmth of the living room roaming through her. "Thank you."_

_Deacon nodded, siting next to her, his own drink in hand. There was a real long silence between them. "So Maddie's been asking about you…"_

_"I wouldn't think she'd want anything to do with me." Deacon said honestly. "She okay?"_

_"She's fine, she's been so strong through this whole ordeal, not that it surprises me anyway..."_

_"Me neither." They shared another smile as they both thought of Maddie, Rayna's heart filled with guilt as she replayed the scene of the moment Deacon found out she'd kept his child from him._

_"Guess it runs in the family…" Deacon's eyes drifted to her apparent flat tummy._

_"Guess so… So about Maddie, I think she'd like to talk to you, see you,"_

_"You sure that's a good idea Rayna? As far as she's concerned I'm just the guy who landed her mother in the hospital, plus, what about Teddy?"_

_"What about him? You're her father Deacon, you deserve to have some kind of relationship with her don't ya?"_

_"I, I honestly don't know Ray, I mean I'm not cut out to be anyone's father that's for sure, you knew it back then, I know it now."_

_"Deacon… You have to understand, I was young and scared about doing it on my own, you weren't able to…."_

_"I know."_

_"But things have changed, you have too."_

_Deacon offered her a grim smile. "You sure about that?" She reached for his hand._

_"If us surviving that crash, the three of us is any indication of the fact that we both need to make things right, so yes, I believed you have changed, I've seen it."_

_"Still got my ass drunk…, went back to rehab once more, a record I'd say."_

_"You're not the only one to blame, I should have made things different back then, I went there to see you."_

_"I know, Cole told me."_

_"so you know why I couldn't do it with you, I had to do what I had to do for Maddie, the best way I knew how…"_

_"Still, I don't know, I got better and you still didn't tell me, so I wonder…." She swallowed hard._

_"I wonder too." They hadn't even realized they were holding hands._

_"So what now?" He asked._

_"I need some time, to sort things out, to figure out what to do next."_

_"I understand." He said sadly._

_"That doesn't mean I don't want you to be a part of your children's lives, of both of them, me and you… We still need to figure that out, but…"_

_"Thank you Ray, lord knows I don't deserve any of it…"_

_"Come to think of it, maybe nether do I, so you don't have to thank me."_

* * *

><p>"Mom!" Maddie rushed over to Rayna as she wrapped her child in a hug. "Mom I didn't know what to do, he just wouldn't wake up…" She cried as her mother cradled her close, Robbie looked at his sister curiously.<p>

"Maddie." He said softly, his blue eyes sparkled. "Maddie sad…"

"It's okay baby, mama's here now." Rayna held her children close.

"Dad's with Scalett , he still hasn't woken up…" Her heart sank."Mom I didn't know what to do." She held Maddie close as her sobs subsided.

"You did the right thing baby, it will be okay, Deacon is though"

"Rayna…" It was Juliette. "Thank goodness you're here…"

"You didn't have to come Juliette." Rayna smiled softly.

"Maddie called me, of course I did, Deacon is my friend." The two women exchanged a quick glance. "You should go in, see him."

Rayna held her breath. "Would you take him? I won't be long," she asked the younger woman as she handed Robbie to her.

"Of course."

"Mama!" He fussed in Juliette's arms. "Mama tay!"

"Shhh… Honey it's okay, mama's right here I will be right back, I need you to stay with Maddie and Juliette for a minute kay?"

* * *

><p>"Scarlett, honey…" Rayna touched the girl's arm slightly.<p>

"I… I hadn't even realized…" Scarlett incorporated herself. "Is Maddie okay?"

"it's alright. How's he doing?" She glanced over at Deacon, he looked so peaceful, yet machines were hooked all over. "What happened?"

"Doctors don't know for sure, Maddie said he was fine, then she couldn't wake him…" Scarlett was shaken and Rayna knew it, he was her family.

"This isn't fine, I didn't even know he was…. He didn't tell me anything." She said more to herself than the girl. "Why didn't he say anything? Not even to you?" Scarlett sighed.

"I don't imagine him wanting to tell you, it was the holidays after all and, well you had Luke to worry about.,,"

"He tell you that?"

"No, I didn't even know he was sick either. He just doesn't know how to let people care for him, it's always been the other way around…" Scarlett added. "I'm gonna go grab something to eat, might take the kids along, you okay staying with him?"

Rayna was fighting the urge to cry as she walked closer to Deacon's bed and moved to the chair his niece had just left.

"Thank you Scarlett," Rayna said smiling softly.

"No, thank you." She squeezed Rayna's shoulder.

* * *

><p>"<em>Deacon, what are you doin'?" Rayna heard herself complain as he parked his truck at the cabin, she was 6 months pregnant and the place was humid, her feet hurt like crazy.<em>

_"Just …" Deacon pleaded as he helped her inside. "You got to close your eyes Ray, that's cheating."_

_"Fine, fine." She let him cover her eyes with his hand as he led her to what she knew was his music room._

_"Okay, open." She did. His old music room was bigger, cleaner actually, and it no longer had guitars and music sheets all over, it had a crib, a changing table and a rocker. "Maddie helped me pick out __everything, figured since this was my first time doin' it I needed some help." Rayna wasted to cry._

_"Deacon, what…"_

_"There isn't enough room in the house for a room for now, I'm still working on the whole logistics there, but in the mean time, I just figured it would be good to have a back up plan." He said shyly._

_"is that so?" Deacon smirked. "You did all of this?"_

_"Gunnar and Avery might have helped a bit…" He ran his hands trough the back of his head. "You like it?"_

_"It's beautiful babe." Deacon turned to look at her. Old habits died hard I gues? _

_Silence._

_"So, you are here already, wanna have some lunch? I'll drive you to work later.., I promise."_

_She smiled. "You cookin'?"_

_"Of course, I wouldn't let you near my kitchen."_

_"Oh, now it's your kitchen?" She said playfully. "Lead the way then."_

_And that he did, needless to say she didn't make it to work later that afternoon._

* * *

><p>"Ray?" A raspy voice made Rayna wake up from her slumber, "what… What are you doing here? What happened? Where's Maddie? "<p>

"Shh, it's okay, let me go get the nurse kay?"

"Hey, just tell me what happened, what am I doing here?"

"You fainted Mr. Claybourne, your daughter called 911." A doctor said as he came into the room, before Rayna could answer.

"What? Where's Maddie, she okay?"

"She's fine Deacon, scalett's with her." Rayna said softly as she took his hand.

"I see here you've struggled with drinking and adiction in he past sir?" Deacon coughed, as the doctor looked down at his notes.

"No, I wasn't drinkin', I wasn't..." Deacon looked over at Rayna, praying she would believe him.

"Maddie said she found you with a half empty bottle of pain killers of some kind…"

"Nah, come on man I had my kid with me, it was just a headache. It wouldn't stop and I didn't know what else to do, I did not try to kill myself or somethin'…"

"I'm not saying that, we're still running some more tests since you were unconscious for a long time."

"So what now?" Rayna asked.

"Right now we just wait, then we'll talk about what to do." The young man said in all seriousness. "Try to get some rest for now," Then he left.

"Ray, …."

"How long has this been goin' on huh? The headaches?" She didn't want to be mad at him. But she felt hurt because it seemed as if he couldn't trust her.

"It's not your problem is it?" He said, harsher than intended, "it's not like I need to tell you everything. I ain't your boyfriend."

" Really Deacon, it was Maddie who found you, our daughter, so yes, it is my problem."

"Dad!" Maddie came into the room with her little brother in tow . "So glad you're awake."

"Yeah honey, I'm fine, I told ya I was just tired." Deacon smiled as he took Maddie's hand in his. "Shouldn't you be in bed already?" He asked the little boy who started babbling something at him. Suddenly, Ray slipped away from the room and went to phone Tandy. This was going to be a very long night.

* * *

><p><strong>So what did you think? I thought it was important for my peace Of mind to have Rayna be with Deacon when they tell him, did you like the flashbacks? It's always been like this with them even though they are not really together, according to them, of course.<strong>

**I do apologize for any mistake, I try to do my best when it comes to checking, thank you for reading and please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**COLLIDE**

**What if history repeated itself for Rayna and Deacon? And what's it like for Maddie to look on the sidelines as her mother continues to bet on the safe choice instead of betting on her happiness and Deacon's ability to change. Will they finally get together?**

**We both have a past, nothing to lose, tonight**

**Well it cuts like a knife these bad luck blues**

**We both got scars from the hell we been thru**

**Somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose**

**KID ROCK**

**A/N: Hello everyone! First off I wanted to thank all of you for reading and sharing your thoughts with me, I really apreciate it, as for the confusion of why Deacon and Rayna aren't together if they had a second child together? Well that's got to do a lot with the crash and how was it they they both healed or are still trying to, still not sure if it's real enough but I thought they just couldn't jump back to 20 years or so that fast, no matter what happened or the fact they are Deacon and Rayna, I believe it to be it was because of their children that they didn't stay together. At least for now. Does that make sense?**

**I don't really own anything but my imagination. Hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 9:**

_"Maddie?" Deacon heard the phone buzz on the nightstand. "Maddie what's wrong?"_

_"It's mom, she's having the baby…" He almost dropped the phone. "Deacon?"_

_"Yes honey, I'm here." Deacon sighed. "Is she alright? isn't it a bit early for him to be here?"_

_"I don't know, the doctor said she best stay overnight, they think it's happening today.."_

_"Oh, well, I'll just…. Is she…"_

_"she's fine, they just got her into a room, she's resting."_

_"Oh alright, who are you with?"_

_"Aunt Tandy and Bucky." Maddie said worriedly . "You're coming right?"_

_"Of course I am. Hold on for a bit okay, I'll be there soon." Deacon took a deep breath as he tried to steady himself. He was about to have a baby._

_"Want some more ice chips honey?" Tandy asked her sister as Maddie and Daphne looked at her worriedly, she had begun labor around midnight and the baby wasn't here yet, she'd never taken so long with the girls. This baby boy just wanted to be stubborn, much like both his parents._

_"I'm fine." She reincorporated herself in bed as one of the nurses came in._

_"Hello miss Rayna, how is it going?"_

_"it's not going more like it, are you sure these ain't just Braxton hicks? It's still too early for this one to come, he was meant for August."_

_"No, you're dilated already, these aren't just false alarm, this baby is coming soon. The doctor is aware of the situation, we'll be ready when the little guy decides to come and meet us." The nurse said confidently._

_"Is it normal, even if he's premature, to take so long?" Tandy asked holing on to Rayna's hand._

_"Well, we're monitoring the baby's heart beat and he seems fine, maybe he's just takin' his time, there isn't anything to worry about just yet."_

_Maddie glanced at her mother anxiously. "Mom what if he doesn't make it?" She was talking about Deacon. _

_"He will honey, trust me, it's his car I'm worried about right now." Another contraction, hell, she'd forgotten how hard this was. "It's going to be okay."_

_Rayna was having trouble breathing now, she was having more pain and the drugs hadn't kicked in just yet, she needed somethin' stronger._

_"mom?" Daphne said afraid. "Can't they help you?"_

_"Oh you just wait honey, drugs are about to take you on one good trip in a minute." The nurse said calmly as she checked the IV drip._

_"Oh god, it's happening again!" Ray squeezed Tandy's hand once more as more contractions hit her, the pain subsiding a bit, but still it was there._

_"okay what have we here?" The doctor came in a moment later. "It's almost time for showtime I see."_

_"Really?" asked Daphne with a glint in her eye._

_"yes, but you can't all stay in here I'm sorry."_

_"but…." Maddie began to protest when Bucky appeared by the door to take the girls._

_"It will be fine Maddie, I need you to go and wait outside okay? You're mama's safe with me." Dr. Norris said with a smile. "You'll soon have a new baby brother."_

_"But, Deacon isn't here… He can't miss this…"_

_"I'm sorry baby but you best go out stay with your Bucky, your mama , she won't be alone." Maddie was turning quick on her heels when she was met by her father. _

_"Deacon!" Maddie piped in as soon as she spotted her dad, his face was tired and hair messy, like he had barely made it out of the house dressed._

_"Hey kiddo." He hugged both girls._

_"I knew you'd make it!" Maddie smiled._

_"Okay people, I hate to break the moment but, someone's about to come into the world and it looks as if he's more than ready." Dr. Norris called. "Out, out!"_

_"Come on now girls," Tandy took their hands, leading them away, shooting one last glance at Deacon as she did._

* * *

><p><em>Rayna's scream made Deacon fast on his heels as he took a stand next to her, his hand in hers.<em>

_"I really hate you right now you know?" She said. "but I'm glad you're here."_

_"Wasn't ready to miss this twice, was I?" She smiled, leaning more into him for support. "You can do it Ray."_

_She screamed, a few more pushes later they heard the doctor say he could see the head, and Deacon saw it too, the miracle of his son bein' born. "Is he gonna be okay? He's not ready to be here yet is he?"_

_"is a bit early for him yeah, but you can't really fight this, it ain't a choice to make." Norris said as Deacon nodded. He returned to Rayna's side._

_"You sure you want this?" She whispered to him as they locked eyes._

_"Too late to back out now, ain't it?" She smiled as he kissed her forehead. "You can do this Ray, I know you can." She kissed him softly on the corner of the mouth . Deacon smiled. _

_"Okay Rayna, it's almost over, one more push."_

_"Hey Deacon?" She breathed before go on one last big push."i..."_

_"I know Ray." He held on to her hand, kissing her fingers swiftly. "Me too,"_

_"And…. He's out!" There was no cry, not right away anyways, just a small whimper. "You wanna cut the chord daddy?" Deacon looked at Rayna for some kind of reassurance. She nodded slowly, as she watched the wonder in his eyes as he got to cut it. "There we go," the nurse said as soon as it was over. Deacon felt as the nurse handed the small baby to him for a moment. It had all happened so fast and yet it seemed as if the world had stopped for him that very moment, much like the time he had first met Rayna._

_"Hey little man,I'm your daddy, and that gorgeous one over there?." He pointed at Ray as he lifted the baby a bit. "That's your mama."_

_"Okay, it's time for us to take this one away." One nurse said quickly, Deacon had noticed a light color change on the baby's skin._

_"what's wrong?" Rayna noticed the look on his face. "Deacon, why can't I hear him crying?" She looked at him and understood, he didn't know what was happening._

_"Wait, where are you takin' him?"_

_"The NICU Mr. Claybourne, baby's still a bit too small needs special care. His lungs haven't developed completely, that's why he wasn't crying…" Dr Norris explained, Ryana held on a breath. "We'll do all we can to help your boy I promise."_

_"Deacon…" He heard her callin'_

_"Hey, it's okay Ray, boy's tough, he made it on the wreck didn't he?" His voice was breaking._

_"I… I didn't even got to hold him," she said tiredly as he held on her hand. Well that was a first, he thought, feelin' like crap about not being less selfish, she was the mama after all._

_"now you listen to me alright? You'll get to hold him, everyday for the rest of your life, you hear me?"_

_She nodded. Wanting to believe him._

* * *

><p><em>Hours passed, Maddie and Daphne had been so broken to hear they were yet to meet their little brother, who for now was just baby Claybourne, to Rayna's request. Deacon had seen the look on Maddie's face.<em>

_"Hey, you okay kiddo?" Maddie smiled. "It's okay to be sad, we're all scared here."_

_"What if something happens? What if…."_

_"Maddie.."_

_"I'm scared dad." It was one of the few times she'd call him that, specially in front of Rayna, who was on the bed, cradling Daphne who had fallen asleep. They shared a look. _

_"I am too sweet girl." Deacon comforted his child, Maddie held on to him as if she'd been doing it all her life and it killed him he might never be able to do that for his boy._

* * *

><p><em>They'd named him Robert, Robbie for short as Deacon insisted, and Rayna agreed, much to Daphne and Maddie's delight. His second name was James in honor of Virginia Wyatt. <em>_Too much country Bucky would say with a smile. But then again, you just had to look at his parents and you understood._

_"would you just look at those eyes?" Tandy said knowingly as she looked at her sister. "A heartbreaker already huh?"_

_"Afraid so." Rayna said, holding on the baby closer. If had been the first time in over two months she'd been able to hold her son without any machines. "Just like his daddy I've got to say."_

_"And speaking of the devil, what do you think will happen with you and Deacon now?" Rayna sighed, she honestly didn't know, nor she wanted to think about it. Maddie had said there was this lawyer who had helped Deacon after the accident he'd been getting close to, not that she could blame him. Or wanted to think about it anyway._

_"I honestly don't know, I mean things are good right now, our focus is on… Maddie and the baby which pulls us away from any conflict… But…."_

_"You wish it was different?" Tandy inquired, Robbie fused in his mother's arms, just in time they looked up to find Deacon standing there. Tandy excused herself quickly, shooting her sister a glance._

_"Hey." He said coyly, his hands in his pockets. Earth swallow her now. How much had he heard?_

_"Hi." She said with a smile. "Didn't know you were comin' today."_

_"Oh well, Maddie told me you got good news today." He said, he sounded hurt, that she hadn't told him._

_"oh yeah, I was going to call you. This little one is off the hook and can most likely go home by the end of the week." She said, not taking her eyes of her son's face._

_"That's real good news Ray."_

_"it is." She agreed as she felt him move behind her, reaching okay to grab Robbie's small hand. His eyes opened slowly. "You know who's here huh?" The baby whimpered softly much to his parents delight."that's your daddy alright."_

* * *

><p>"what's that you got there Maddie?" Deacon asked from the bed as Maddie got a hold of her guitar. He'd just woken up from the slumber he'd been in for the last couple hours.<p>

"I thought we could… Play… I didn't mean to wake you ." She knew he was losing his mind in there. Everyone form Gunnar to Juliette had paid a visit, he'd even received a text from Megan who he had spoken to in over a few months since ending things and moving to San Francisco, nasty break up that one though. She said he was emotionally closed off, he said he wanted to focus on his kids and she'd called him a coward for not owning up to his feelings about the mother of his children, a month later, Rayna had started dating Luke. Bad timing was a bitch, that much he knew.

"Why don't you do it huh? I can just watch." He saw the look on Maddie's face but she brushed it off.

"so you know when you're getting out of here?" Maddie asked.

"Don't know, doctor is coming to talk to me later today so…"

"You think is bad?"

Deacon froze. A few days ago it had been Maddie who had found him."I.. I don't…"

"Daddy!" Robbie came into the room, Ryana, Juliette and Scarlett in tow. He started babbling things at him as Deacon held him close on the bed.

"Hey bud, what ya doing?"

"Causing trouble I see." Rayna said as she eyed Maddie's guitar. Father and daughter shared a look.

"Daddy feel better?" Robbie asked.

"Yes, I am, thanks to you and miss Maddie being here to cheer me up." Robbie smiled back at his mother. "She just figured we could play a little Ray." Deacon said glancing at the guitar.

"Okay then, let's hear it then." Juliette said with a smile. Maddie strapped the instrument to her neck and played the song and and Deacon had been working on, no lirycs then but Rayna knew it was special.

"That's all I got." Maddie said sadly. "We didn't finish it."

"We will sweetie, soon I promise." Maddie smiled at her father.

"Mr, Claybourne?" It was a moment later the doctor had come back. "Mind if we have a word?" Maddie glanced over at her parents.

"why don't you go and take Robbie to the cafeteria for a moment honey?" Rayna told her.

"I… I want to stay." Maddie said firmly. "I should…"

"No." Deacon said harsher than intended. "You go with Robbie, Juliette will go with you."

"What…" The blonde said. Then she saw the desperation in his face. "Your dad's right Maddie, this ain't no place for you both, let's go."

"But…" Maddie was in the verge of tears. "Dad.."

"It's okay honey, I'll be fine, you just go please, I need you to go." She hugged him as thight as she could and then he hugged Robbie who refused to go and cried when Juliette took him away.

"You too Ray." Deacon said after a moment. She glared at him.

"Not a chance."

"What about Luke huh?" She knew he was just trying to push her away because he was scared.

"You really wanna go there Deacon? Right now?" Scarlett shot the Doctor an apologetic look. "I'm stayin and that's final." If he had not been there in bed, he'd probably drag her out.

"So we all know your drug and alcohol levels came clean." The doctor began after a moment. "But your blood cells count was pretty high…that's something we need to talk about..."

* * *

><p><strong>Okay so… I went a little overboard with the flashback but it kind of took a life of his own! How did you like it? Things are about to get serious here huh? Don't worry about Luke, we might see him before long! And can everyone say February' 4th?<strong>

**Thank you for reading and reviewing you guys! It makes me smile! I apologize in advance for any mistake you might find…**


	10. Chapter 10

**COLLIDE**

**What if history repeated itself for Rayna and Deacon? And what's it like for Maddie to look on the sidelines as her mother continues to bet on the safe choice instead of betting on her happiness and Deacon's ability to change. Will they finally get together?**

**We both have a past, nothing to lose, tonight**

**Well it cuts like a knife these bad luck blues**

**We both got scars from the hell we been thru**

**Somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose**

**KID ROCK**

**A/N: Hi guys! Sorry it took me too long to update! I seemed to have hit a block, so I hope this is still good, and yay we have less and less weeks to wait for the next episode! **

**I don't really own anything but my imagination. Hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 10: **

Rayna couldn't breathe. She kept her eyes on Deacon but he avoided her gaze. He had liver cancer. Cirrhosis of the liver, developed on liver cancer. She felt sick, she was scared and honestly she didn't know what she was going to do.

"Do you have any questions Mr. Claybourne?" The doctor was calm, as she and Scarlett were, well, the poor girl was in the verge of tears, she could see the water appearing in her eyes.

"I don't..."

"Deacon!" Scarlett gasped.

"I don't know how to ask you anything doc.." Deacon said gasping as he sat up, it was the first time he'd look at Ray. "I'd like to talk to you alone if I could..."

"What, no..."

"I'm the one whose sick! so let me please..." he begged both women. "Please I just need a minute, it ain't like I'm pushing you away, but I..."

"Deacon." It was Rayna who spoke, looking at him. "You don't have to be alone for this."

"I do Ray" He begged, there was a desperation in his voice that made Rayna uneasy, it reminded her of all the past time she'd seen him off to rehab, of the way he had asked to marry her, of the way he had asked if Maddie was his, of all the times his life had crumbled down on him.

"We'll be right outside." Rayna said, her hand moving to touch Deacon's. He wanted to pull away, to push her out of this so she didn't have to suffer for his stupidity. "Come on honey." Scarlett was crying as she looked over at the doctor, then her uncle and her emotions got the best of her.

"You have lots of people who care about you Mr. Claybourne," the young doctor said with a smile. "You sure you don't want then here?"

"They don't need to hear it like this, lord knows I'd one day pay for my sins," Deacon swallowed hard, Dr. Marsh remained quiet. "So lay on me doc, what's the deal here?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"I mean, how long do I have? You see I've got these kids in my life and I just...I feel like I need to know, how long I've got to spend time with them..." He was crying now, not that he'd let anyone see him doing so, his daddy had made sure of that for him long ago. "So?"

"Six months to a year without treatment and in need of a transplant, could be less.." Deacon nodded. "But there are options Deacon, and it will only get worse from now on, I can assure you that, so we have to, act quickly so your chances are better..."

* * *

><p>"That doctor seemed pretty serious, right?" Maddie said, eyeing Juliette from across the table, Robbie in the singer's lap sound asleep. "Like he was there to deliver some bad news..."<p>

"Well honey, all doctors are pretty serious, not all what they say have to be." She said.

"I just, I mean, I thought he was dead Juliette, I thought I wasn't going to get him to wake up." the young girl said, her eyes watering. "He's my dad and I'm just getting to know him you know? I mean, he was always Uncle Deacon but..."

"I understand honey." Juliette reached for Maddie's hand. "If I know a thing or two about your daddy though is that, he won't go out without a fight, you got to see that from all the dancin' your parents make around each other."

* * *

><p>"Tandy." Rayna hugged her sister close. "Thank goodness you're here."<p>

"What the hell happened? I thought we'd be seeing each other on New Years and.. all I get is a message saying that Deacon is in the hospital, I hope he didn't do anything stupid, not that'd surprise me." Rayna rolled her eyes, but tears invaded her eyes. "It's bad, isn't it?"

"Cancer." She said simply, feeling sick that Deacon and that stupid word had to come in the same sentence. "Don't know how advanced it is, he didn't even let me be with him Tandy..." She sat down on the chair behind her, burying her face in her hands. "He's there all alone and he just wouldn't let me..."

She broke to tears.

"Oh honey...no, it's, well you know how he is, I'm sure he'll explain everything when he's ready."

"What if he doesn't because I'm not his problem anymore? His words, not mine." She cried.

"Because of Luke?" She nodded.

"Well you two still have two children together, by extension he's your goodam problem, even if he doesn't want to be,"

"My kids, oh god, what am I goin' to tell my kids?" She cried even harder as her sister held her.

"You'll tell them nothing until you are sure of what this means..." Tandy said firmly,

"I know what it means Tandy!" She shot back, "It means Deacon is real sick and most probably dying and I cannot do a single thing about it, Not this time."

"Dad's dying?!" The horrified look on Maddie's face made Tandy and Rayna turn around, Juliette behind her, holding her hand to her moth. Rayna was not fast enough to get a hold on her daughter as she broke into a run, to Deacon's room.

* * *

><p><strong>Not my best but, I just thought this needed to be done. Thank you so much for reading! And don't forget to review :)<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**COLLIDE**

**What if history repeated itself for Rayna and Deacon? And what's it like for Maddie to look on the sidelines as her mother continues to bet on the safe choice instead of betting on her happiness and Deacon's ability to change. Will they finally get together?**

**We both have a past, nothing to lose, tonight**

**Well it cuts like a knife these bad luck blues**

**We both got scars from the hell we been thru**

**Somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose**

**KID ROCK**

**A/N: Hello everyone! First off I wanted to thank all of you for reading and sharing your thoughts! Sorry it took me so long to update, been hitting a rock with this one! I do hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own anything… Why couldn't they make Luke a more likable character? That's all I want to know, Will Chase is like the sweetest guy…**

**Chapter 11:**

"Maddie!" Rayna caught up with her daughter before she reached Deacon's room. "Honey, hold up!"

"He's dying?" She asked, short of breath.

"It's bad, yes. But he's still here Maddie and we're going to do everything we can to help him, I promise."

"I want to see him." Rayna nodded. She saw Juliette and Tandy close behind her.

"Could you guys stay with Robbie, I'll take him in soon enough, I just think she needs a moment." Juliette nodded. As Rayna followed her child down the hall.

Deacon was asleep when they reached the room. He looked so peaceful. Maddie pulled the chair next to the bed close and sat down, hiding her father's hand. "Do you ever wondered what our lives would be like if we'd lived with him when I was born?" Maddie asked. Rayna closed her eyes for a moment. She had cried herself for a year after marrying Teddy just by the thought of it. She cried because her baby was the reason she had pushed Deacon away, her child and her sanity, it was hard to believe she'd found herself in the same situation years later. Two children and a boyfriend later and still no Deacon, and now she didn't know if he'd get out of this.

"Yeah I did, everyday, everytime you did something, like your first word, or the first time you won the spelling bee, I'd picture the look on his face, or at least tried to." She said nostalgically. Maddie nodded but said nothing.

She felt her phone buzz on the pocket of her jeans, it was a text from Luke saying he was downstairs. She had only told him there had been something wrong with Deacon, but she didn't know much.

"You'll be okay here on your own?" She asked Maddie. "I'll be right back." Maddie smiled, tears still lingered on her face.

* * *

><p>"Rayna!" Juliette caught up wit her. Robbie was crying in her arms. "What the hell was that?"<p>

She took the baby from her. "What's wrong with him, really?"

"Not now Juliette, I just…"

"It's bad?"

"It is." She said simply. "I'll be back, Maddie is with him, where's…"

"Scarlett and your sister went to the cafeteria… Where are you goin'?"

"Luke is here." Oh. The look on the other woman's face said it all. "I'm just not in the mood for a lecture alright?"

"I haven't said anything about it."

"Not out loud at least, but I know you do."

Juliette bit her lip, oh she had to say a few things alright.

"Babe what in the world happened?" Was the first thing Luke said when he found him. She had her by in her , for some she felt safer when the boy was between her and Luke. They'd been dating for about 6 months but she'd known the man her whole life. And she still felt so unsure around him sometimes. she really didn't know why.

"Maddie found Deacon passed out at the house." Luke's frown hardened.

"Had he been…"

"No." She said simply, toting Robbie, who had buried his face on her neck. "It's more serious than that."

"How serious?"

"Cancer." She had to stop saying that word. Darn it. Luke went pale. And it was when Rayna looked down at her son that she understood. What so little time he might have with his dad. He might not even make it to his second birthday for all she knew.,

"Oh." Luke was in the loss for words. "What are the doctors sayin'?"

"I don't know, he didn't let me stay to hear what they had to say." Luke was aware of how stubborn the man was.

"Is there anything I can do?" He sounded serious.

"Not at the moment, no." She admitted, running her free hand trough her hair. "But thank you for being here, I really…"

"Don't mention it." He gave her a smile. "tell you what? I'll make some calls, see what I can figure out for Deacon, okay?" He brushed the little boy's head.

"You'd really do that?" Luke looked down at Robbie. "I know you ain't his greatest fan."

"And he isn't mine either, is he? But he was my friend once, and he's got things to fight for, I know what that's like." He hugged her as she tried to stop herself from crying.

* * *

><p>"Maddie?" Deacon woke up to his daughter's eyes looking at him.<p>

"Hi." She wasn't going to yell at him. Lord knows she'd wanted to do that as soon as she walked into the room, but she just didn't have it in her, not right now anyway. "How are you feeling?"

"alright." He didn't look at her in the eye. "Shouldn't you be at home?"

"Mom says you're dying, she says its cancer." Maddie said simply. She was almost 15, she knew what that word meant.

"She told you that?" Deacon asked in disbelief.

"No, I overheard her talking about it with aunt Tandy, she said you wouldn't let her be in here with you…"

"Maddie." He tired to squeeze her hand but she pulled away.

"She loves you, you know?"

"I do." He said. "That's why I kept her away."

"That doesn't make any sense Deacon..,"

_ouch that hurt._

"Maddie…"

"Just tell me, do you love my mom too?"

"You know I do." He admitted. "And I love you kids more than anything, Daphne too, you know that."

"Then I want you to promise me something." She said, her voice sounded so much like Ray's he wanted to cry. " I want you to promise me you'll fight this, you'll get better dad, you have to." She began to cry as he reached for h cried in his arms, and Deacon made this silent promise.

He'd fight. For his girl, his children, and for the life he'd been so keen on if he might never get Rayna back.

* * *

><p><strong>So what did you think? This is not over just yet, but it will be soon as the new season aproaches and school is in full force for me in a few weeks!<strong>

**Also, keep in mind that Luke and Rayna hadn't dated that long, and she clearly hasn't moved as fast as on the show because she did have a second child with Deacon, and for that reason her relationship with Luke it's kind of AU in this fic, also I'm kind of trying to redeem that character before Nashville destroys it for me next week, I wonder how they will keep Luke around for the rest of the season?**

**Anyways, stay tuned! A new secret from Deacon is coming out which might explain why he didn't get back together with Ray when they began to get close again . Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**COLLIDE**

**What if history repeated itself for Rayna and Deacon? And what's it like for Maddie to look on the sidelines as her mother continues to bet on the safe choice instead of betting on her happiness and Deacon's ability to change. Will they finally get together?**

**We both have a past, nothing to lose, tonight**

**Well it cuts like a knife these bad luck blues**

**We both got scars from the hell we been thru**

**Somebody's gotta win, somebody's gotta lose**

**KID ROCK**

**A/N: Hello everyone! First off I wanted to thank all of you for reading and sharing your thoughts! I'm hoping you still into this cause lord knows I need some stories after tonight's ep! I'm gonna go ahead and cry in a corner after I post this! Enjoy!**

**I don't own anything**

**Chapter 12:**

_**2 weeks later**_

Maddie hadn't really taken anything to do with Deacon's illness well and the last thing she wanted was for Daphne to find out, yeah, Deacon was her dad but he was her family too and the prospect of her sister finding out about him not having much time... she shivered at the thought of that made her crazy. Robbie was too young to even understand what it implied, which only made it worse for her, she was the only one to know and by knowing it meant she had to act like everything was okay.

For some reason she'd never understand, her parents were not in speaking terms, she figured it was because of what she'd her Rayna tell Tandy, what Deacon had told her, he was trying to spare her the pain, the pain of the prospect of losing him, but in the meantime she was getting closer to Luke, precisely because she was being pushed away, although Maddie was sure her mom was not one to give up on Deacon, she never had and as sure as hell she wasn't going to start now.

"Honey, what are you still doing on there? your dad will be any second." Rayna said, she and Daphne were going to DC with Teddy for a weekend, much to her dismay, she was worried sick about Deacon and the only thought of leaving him made her believe he might not be here when she'd come back.

"Do I really have to go?" Maddie sat back on her bed and put her computer away, looking at her mother. "I could just tell dad I don't feel so good, stay with Deacon and Robbie"

"Baby, listen, I know you're worried about Deacon, I am too believe me but... it's what he wants, he told us so remember?" Maddie nodded. "He said he needed to think things trough, we need to let him do this alone."

"You really think that's a good idea?" Maddie asked. "What if something happens and he's alone with the baby, mom?" Rayna didn't answer because there was a knock on the door. Teddy.

"Let me worry about that Maddie, alright? Nothing will happen to either of them okay? I'd be nice for Deacon to have some alone time with Robbie, and you with your dad, so go on, have fun." Maddie shrugged, her bag over her shoulder as Rayna gave her a hug.

"Come on Maddie!" Daphne showed up at the door, dragging her sister by the hand. Rayna followed the girls to the door.

"Hey dad!" Daphne gave her father a big hug.

"Hi you two, are you all set to go?"

"Yep, mom you should see dad's apartment! The windows are so big!" Daphne said with a smile. Just as on cue, Robbie began to cry in the other room.

"Maybe I will someday." She said with a smile. The crying was getting louder. "You two have fun and be good alright, I love you."

"Love you mom, please tell Deacon and Luke we love them too okay?" Teddy and Rayna looked at each other.

"Of course honey."

"Maybe you should..." Teddy said glancing at the stairs.

"Yes, I should..." She waved goodbye to the girls and then closed the door behind her. Her phone buzzed as she went to get her son from his nap.

"Hey." She said softly as Deacon's voice came on the other line.

"What's going on there?" He asked, he could hear Robbie's cries subsiding.

"Someone just woke up from his nap..-" Rayna said bouncing the baby a little. "Remind you of someone."

"Of his mama alright." Deacon said.

She was smiling. "I was thinking about dropping him off once he's had some lunch, the girls just left with Teddy."

"I was actually callin' about that..." Deacon said. "I was wondering if maybe you could bring him over later tonight, I've got somewhere to be and I don't think he'll be happy if I just drop him on someone's lap for the rest of the day."

"Oh, where do you have to go to you can't bring him along?" She didn't need to hear him say it, not really. "Deacon?"

"Scarlett's coming with." She heard him say. "I need to have some more tests done."

"Maybe I could come? I want to." She said too quickly. "You can't just push me away Deacon, please don't."

"It ain't about that Ray, you got to think about our boy here alright?" Oh low blow. "You best stay with him, I'll call you later."

"Deacon..."

"Tell him I love him alright?"

* * *

><p>"Ray, what are you doing here on Saturday morning?" Bucky asked, confused. "I thought you'd be at a spa, relaxing since you were kid free."<p>

"Well, thing is...I'm not, Deacon cancelled on me at the last minute and I figured I have some work done before I go over to Luke's ranch for the rest of the day." Bucky arched an eyebrow. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing, it just seems you and Luke are getting close huh?"

"I guess we are." She said.

"And what does Deacon think about it? I mean the two of them used to be friends, right?"

"Where are you gettin' at Buck?"

"Oh well... I mean is he okay with Deacon being there in the picture, he's the father of your kids and he's around a lot." Rayna felt like a ton of bricks had fallen down on her. _He was around, but he might not be for long._

_"_Luke knows that." She said a little bit too defensibly. "And he's okay with that... at least he seems to be."

"That's good then?"

"It's good."

* * *

><p>She'd told Luke she'd bring Robbie along for a little while before driving him over to Deacon's later, she was really mad at him for pushing her away, he wasn't really himself and she knew it, she'd been trying to do everything to help him and he just didn't want her help, it seemed he didn't want her.<p>

"Hey there little lady." Luke said with a wide grin as she climbed off from the van, baby at her hip. "Glad you could make it, I've got a little surprise."

"What kind of a surprise?" She arched an eyebrow as he kissed her.

"Well to tell you the truth is more for this little guy and you, but I'll bet you'll enjoy it either way." He said.

"Now I'm scared."

"Don't be, Colt wasn't much older than that when he got on a horse for the first time." Her eyes were wide as they made it to the stables.

"I... I mean I love horses but I don't think he's ready for any of that Luke." She said in all seriousness.

"What? He'll love it, come on." He took the baby from her and she was about to yank him back. "You'll see."

* * *

><p>To say she was terrified to see her small boy on a big horse called Admiral was an understatement, she watched as Luke put him on his lap and wrapped an arm around him and began to walk on her direction slowly. "See? It's easy, he's gonna love it." and he did love it actually, she was pretty surprise by her son's reaction to the horse, who he was soon petting from Luke's arms when they ended their ride.<p>

"You are all a big boy, aren't you Robbie?" Rayna took the baby from Luke as he giggled in her arms. "Oh no please don't grow up too fast, I'm not remotely ready for that."

"Don't you worry, he's still a long way from datin'." Luke said. "Gonna be one hell of a rider some day if thought right." Rayna's face became grim. "How's Deacon?"

"Do you really want to talk about it?"

"I do."

"I honestly don't know, I mean I know as much as Scarlett and Juliette were able to get out of him, he's on the transplant list and he's best shot is six months to a year without treatment." Her eyes began to water. "He's gonna have more tests done later today."

"He's still shuttin' you out?" She nodded. "Have you tried talking to him?"

"Yes, but all he says it's that he's handling and all I want to do is drag him to the hospital myself." Luke nodded.

"Maybe he is Rayna, when he's ready to ask for your help, he will."

* * *

><p>"Someone's at the door!" Deacon called from the couch but Scarlett was making dinner so he got up and answered the door. It was Rayna. "Hey Ray."<p>

"Hey." She said softly. "What smells so good?"

"Scarlett's cookin' she said she'd stay with me for the weekend to help out." He smiled softly. Robbie was in her arms sleep. "Someone's had a long day."

"Yes, he was all over the place all day, and then we went ridin'..."

"You went riding?" He asked in disbelief.

"Actually no, Luke did."

"Oh."

"Yeah he invited me over at the ranch and he was all excited about gettin' Robbie to ride so..." Deacon's face drifted from her face to his son's. "It was a weird day." She admitted.

"I bet." Deacon said running his hand trough his face. "Mine was too."

She didn't seem amused.

"Still nothing on the transplant, though they did say it was still my best chance."

"Deacon..."

"I told you I'd tell you about it, and I've done it Ray, I told you, I'm handling it."

She nodded, hurt. "Please talk to me."

"I am."

"What did they really say Deacon..."

"I an't got much time to figure out what to do now, I could try chemo, lose my hair, not sure if I'd rock the shaved head though."

"No, I did always loved your hair." She smiled.

"They're running some tests to see if I can get myself on a study about livin' donors, see if my blood ain't too messed up."

* * *

><p><strong>Hate to leave it there but I am falling asleep here guys! Sorry! I do hope you like it, and yes I am playin' the redeem card on Luke cause they turned him into such an... well you know, please review and thank you for reading! How awesome was that ep?!<strong>


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